Why ex's just don't provide closure? Need perspective?

It sucks she strung me along. I was in no contact for 2 weeks until she contacted me saying she missed me and couldn't stop thinking about me. IF she was really doing this then why is she dating someone else?

She wanted to talk about us and suggested us to get drinks somewhere so I made reservations. We got into an argument that night cause she was texting the guy she's dating.

I know I should've played it cool. Next morning she says she's sorry, she will always love me as I was her first love, it's going to be hard on us. She also said she wants me to date around so we can see what we really want and maybe later we will get back together.

She gave me a kiss at the end and said to be good & she's gonna miss me. Why won't she just say she doesn't love me anymore?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems like she is just holding you for a back up plan she knows with you she can get attention and affection BUT she wants to see what else is out there.. that is why she said to "look around" someone who really wanted to be with you would not dare risk you finding someone else because if you were to get with somebody you would completely forget about her.. so if I was you i would give yourself closure by telling her... how much you care about her but understand her decision and hope one day she will find exactly who will make her happy after that dnt text her let her text if she wants. Sometimes doing that will make her think twice and make her think you are the one leaving her for good

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Mate, I hate to sound blunt.. but if she has a new man and is saying all this to you.
    Imagine what she was doing with other guys when you were together, as my dad always told me, leopards don't change there spots

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • She has officially made you her backup plan. That is, unless you get over her and forget about her.
    Most of the time, there's no such thing as the "perfect closure". That stuff only exists in movies. In reality, people drift apart without saying anything, back stab each other, ignore each other, lie, cheat and disappear into thin air. And there's really not much you can do about any of that. Real closure is about accepting that it's over, even though it wasn't verbally communicated and even though there was no serious discussion about it. It's about knowing yourself so well, that you can recognize the feeling of being done. It's about knowing when to move on, and when to give up.
    Really, most people don't even understand closure. They think that closure is some long and heartfelt discussion with your partner when you decide to part ways and never talk to each other again. That's not closure. I'm pretty sure most people, in the end, would feel like that wasn't good enough. Why? Because, people who go on and on about wanting closure, are afraid to move on. They're afraid of ending the chapter themselves. They're afraid of closing the book and calling it a day. They call it "closure" but really, they should replace "closure" with "move on". I want closure = I want to move on. And how do they get closure, how do they move on? By accepting the situation and letting go. That's the ONLY way you'll get your closure.

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    • You know what I've been going through the same thing he is for the longest and when I ask for advice no one could help. You weren't even talking to me but I understood every word as if you were so thanks

  • Because you're her back-up. Ditch her and never look back. She never deserved your love in the first place. She seems a little messed up in the head anyway.

    Would you look at mine please? Thanks!
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1312996-was-it-more-about-me-or-the-parents

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  • In case something better comes along. So she will keep you there as a back up to ensure she won't be alone but keep looking for someone who she feels suits her better. Just move on to someone who respects you and cherishes you. Thats what datings all about isn't it?

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  • She is just trying to string you along I would just let her go. Don't let her string you along cut her off completely and never ever speak to her again.

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What Guys Said 6

  • She obviously doesn't know what she wants, and she's definitely keeping you in her "pocket" so to speak in case the other guy doesn't work out. Cut all communication, don't reply on text's or calls etc. If she wants to be with you there won't be someone else to start with. Find someone that wants only you.

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  • She's just stringing you along. To her you're like a something she's saving in case she needs it or is feeling down. Cut her that string! What a b*tch!!!

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  • She's just keeping you around for attention and ego-boosting. Let go of her.

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    • This.. people keep one potential mate around at all times because they either still like them, stroke their ego. When times fall hard with that other guy watch her fly back to you like she always "loved" you. Don't wait up.

  • She gets off knowing that however wonderful of a life you went on to live, she can still get you. Block her number, Facebook, Twitter jus cut it all off.

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  • Fuck that bitch man! This game she's playing willnever end. Cut all ties with her and never look back.

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  • Some people think they are sparing your feelings... others are cowardly pieces of chicken shit...

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