Why was he so mean to me when he broke up with me?

Well it all started on Sunday when I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to be with me because he wasn't texting me as much as before or calling but his job is very demanding. But he was supposed to come see me last week but he got sick, but he did text me almost all that week and he even said he loved me and wished he could hold me.

But when I asked him if he felt the same about me or if he wanted to be with me and where do I fit in his life his response was "I don't know" so I took it as he didn't want to be with me and I wished him the best in life but I asked him did you ever love me and he said I did and still do but i asked then why are you letting me go and he said I'm not you are and I told him that I still wanted to be with him but if he didn't I would understand and all he said was "can I have some time to think" and I said yeah.

So today I get a text from him telling me that he has to get his life together k, and I don't love you, and I don't want to be with you which broke my heart so bad because every time I questioned him he would always say he wanted to be with me.

So my question is did he really love me because he said he did two days ago, or was he just being nice? Do you think this is why he has been acting distant and he just didn't want to tell me?

And also why was he so mean when I was always nice to him I did not do anything wrong, but I did keep asking him if he wanted to be with a lot in the past 3 weeks, but only because he never gave a straight answer. I have already deleted his number and everything but I can't help but wonder why he was so mean. Do you think he could have been seeing someone else. His text today just didn't seem like something he would say.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you love someone, then you never do anything to hurt them. He's acting on an immature impulse atm. I'm 99% sure that he still has feelings for you and I wish that I can tell you that it'll get better but it's sort of up to him. If he's still a child then he'll expect you to make your move first even though you did everything on your part. From what I see, he will most likely hurt you both because of his ego. You shouldn't do anything more than what you did already, but try to go out and enjoy yourself for now. Try to get over him.

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    • I'am going to try my best to get over him even though it hurts but I'm going to stay strong and move on. Thanks for taking the time to answer my question.

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    • Its so weird because it started 3 weeks ago, he was really quiet on the phone and he didn't sound like he usually does and he didn't talk long. but he did text me after that saying he was sorry if he was too quiet and I said it was ok and he said "you promise" and I told him yes I promise, and then he said I'm just afraid your going to leave me and we talked about how much we missed each other and he said he loved me and wished he could hold me. But after that he started to text less and thats when I started to question him.

    • Hmm, seems like his nightmares are coming true.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I would guess that he became defensive because you hurt his feelings. Asking someone over and over again if they really want to be with you, and if they love you, and if they need you... all of that can come across as insecure or even needy. A guy wants to feel like he makes his girl happy! When you're happy, he's happy. When you're doubting and feeling down, he senses that. Breaking up with him pretty much sends the message that he's not doing a very good job of making and keeping his woman happy and satisfied. (Or, it could be guy code for something else, and I haven't quite decoded that language yet.)

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    • If he wants the girl happy then he should put in the effort in making her happy. You can't enjoy being with a depressed, busy, slob no matter how hard you try.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think it's just because you kept going on and on at him. You don't need to ask him anyway, actions speak louder than words.

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  • I would really like the answer to this as I'm going through something similar, it does hurt so much especially when you don't understand where it has all come from. Stay strong!

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