Did you ever really get over the first person you fell in love with?

I broke up with my ex about a year ago he was the first person I've actually been in love with and he really broke my heart.

I was left truly devastated but friend's kept telling me in a year you will be over it. I've dated other people in the meantime but my thoughts always go back to him.

But now I have so much hate for him it's a horrible feeling I've never hated anyone in my life when I'm busy I don't think about him but when I'm alone I just breakdown. I just want to ask does the feelings ever go away for a first love? Can you remember feeling this way?

I was thinking of going to see someone professional but I don't know if it will help.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It was 37 years ago. That's a long time to hold a grudge so I don't.
    I remember the day. I remember the moment, I broke up with her. It still bothers me but I don't feel sadness for what it could have been. I feel sadness for her. She missed out on the greatest guy she will ever have because she thought she could get away with. Well, she has her reward. A lifetime without me.
    He doesn't deserve you. Whether he shows it or not the regret will hang on him.
    Contact him only for your child and make this about your child. He really fucked up but he's still a father but not a husband by any means.
    You are 30 years younger than me and I still feel "viable" as a potential mate so you've got it going on! Somebody much more suited for you will come along. Be patient. Be yourself. He's obviously not the one for you.

    • That's good advice. I won't lie I was always hoping he'd want me back but I don't see it happening so I will probably more angry with myself in years to come if I waste anymore time on someone who doesn't want me.

    • Only hold onto the best memories of him. There will be the ugly ones but don't dwell on that.
      I remember that day I found out but I don't blame myself now. I wondered for awhile. I hoped as you do, that she would continue to plead my forgiveness but it was a fantasy. What I wanted was not what she wanted.
      It turned out ok though. I've been with the same woman for more than 20 years.
      You'll find that. I'm sure of it. It can't start until you let go though. Not the memories but the possibility of a relationship with him.
      Thank you for MHO:-)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I think with all the people you have loved you always reminisce about and smile over the great times you share. And, as you grow older even if you were hurt at the time by them, or, even devastated, you still are grateful for the times you shares, and feelings felt

  • It does, once you find another big love.

  • I am happily over her :)


What Girls Said 2

  • I still kind of think of mine 10 years later. He left me and I think because I never got closure. I held onto lot's of hate and it's not good for you. Talking to someone might help I wish I would have done it at the time.

    • I got closure almost 7 years after my first love. 😳 now it's too late. Sucks.

  • I fell truly in love at 17. First time I laid eyes on him, I knew. He did too. But being young and dumb, his ex had to get in the way and ruin our relationship. He ended up going into the Marines and when he came back, his ex gf was still around. His step dad made a bunch of lies to him to separate us for good. Ended up getting married to some random girl. We reconnected five years later and are still in love with each other. But nothing can be done about it. He thinks about me more than his wife. I've dated since him but I wished it was him instead. I think you can find love again but... it's hard. I thought I found it but dude was verbally abusive. I still think about him tho.


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