Did I make a mistake? Am I a horrible person and nowhere near girlfriend material? PLEASE READ?

Please read my story, I really need opinions on this.
I met this guy back in 2011, we both were 15 years old. We fell madly in love with each other, it was the most amazing thing i had ever felt in my life. I would take a bullet for that boy. However, two weeks into the relationship we became long distance. 8000 miles apart. It was all through Skype. No one understood is and just made fun. I wouldn't even talk to other guys. It's like being taken but single at the same time. I was becoming sick of not having anyone close to me. Three years of not seeing each other went good, but then I went off for college. Met lots of new people, including guys. I started to spend a lot of time with students and found myself attracted to my guy friends. I was so done being alone, loving someone and not having them, and I confessed to my bf that I was attracted to a guy at college. Of course he was pissed, he couldn't be there to check on me. Our relationship started to ruin from there. I did hurt him a lot. He loved me more than anything and he always treated me like a princess but I was being a bitch and telling him that I was tired and giving up. Told him that its working. I suggested taking a break but he refused. One night i got drunk and ended up sleeping with my classmate. I told my boyfriend and he still forgave me (!!) I was shocked. However, I still broke it off because I wanted out of that relationshop. I hurt him big time. I saw him cry for the first time.
It was a few months ago, and we haven't talked for awhile now. I have a fuck buddy that doesn't give a crap about me.
I think about my ex a lot. I miss him so much. I feel like he was the love of my life and I gave up on him. It was a horrible mistake that I've made. He never stopped loving me even though we didn't see each other for three years. What if he was my mate but I cheated on him and I screwed it up? Should I just move on and leave him? He cut all the contact.
And how much of a bitch I am on a scale 1-10?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to move on - you have to make that decision today to turn the corner and not look back. Use this as a lesson for next time - I know long distance is hard and in your case particularly difficult because he lived so far away and you never saw him. If you go back and he does take you back I assure you the exact same thing will happen again. The friends with benefits proves it to you - you long for someone to connect with BUT also physical contact.

    Your ex could only ever give you one of those - you need to move on and find a partner who can give you both of those things. That's the only way you'll be happy.

    You need to let go of him, you need to forgive yourself for what you did and you need to learn from this so that you can really appreciate the next guy who comes a long and can give you both aspects that you desire.

    I know this is messy, but you can climb out of this if you just stop hating on yourself - resolve to do better, move on and find that person.

    You're stronger than you know! You got this!

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    • I have so much guilt on me, that I can't sleep at night sometimes. I'm not a cheater.. At least I never thought I was. Thank you for your opinion, it's really helpful.

    • If you want to move on you're going to have to forgive yourself - you'll find someone who captivates you I promise!

Most Helpful Girl

  • He probably really loved you no doubt about that. I understand that it's not easy having a long distance relationship and you played around, he even forgave you for sleeping with another guy but there is only so much hurt a person can take before walking away, he cut you off because he loved you and you hurt him, badly. You broke up with him, what reason does he have to stay? He did the right thing which is to move on. You chose this, you put yourself into this situation now you get to make the best out of it and live with it. Yes he could have been your mate, who knows but learn from this instead. Next time you meet someone you make sure that you truly know what you want and don't repeat the same mistake. Since he cut all the contact I suggest that you let him move on. Move on and stop blaming yourself.

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    • I still love him very much. I think about him every day :(

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I've been in his shoes. The girl I loved since I was 13 left me a year ago, while we were in a long distance relationship. her reasons were different, but still felt trivial in light of how long I'd been committed to her. I have tried really really hard not to be incredibly angry at her, even not to hate her sometimes.

    I can't be sure how he feels. I consider myself married to her, so it's a bit different. I swore to love her unconditionally and eternally, even if she stopped loving me, and that's what I intend to do.

    I won't go calling you names like "bitch", that's useless, but obviously you did make mistakes and you need to figure out how to grow as a person and not make mistakes like that again.

    whether you should go back to him is something I think you have to sort out for yourself.

    good luck

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    • I'm really sorry about that. I hope you will find your love and happiness somewhere else. Thanks for the opinion.

    • " I consider myself married to her, so it's a bit different. I swore to love her unconditionally and eternally, even if she stopped loving me, and that's what I intend to do."

      so I will not be finding happiness elsewhere. there's plenty of happiness to be found here anyway. "love is not self seeking". love takes joy in service even when it gains nothing in return.

  • You need to move on from both. listen to the @Lavis guy he seems like an expert. Good luck.
    And yeah also in my view you weren't being a bitch. But you you did hurt that guy pretty hard. It'll leave a stain on him.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Fuck those move on people.
    Three years and long distance and he still hold on to you wow, this guy is 10/10.
    Skip your fuck buddy this will only make him feel worse the longer you stay with him, buy a dildo or something girl.
    Of course he cut all contact he has been loyal for you for this long and he loves you. Do every fucking thing to gt him back girl. If you don't you are crazy. You'll probably never find a boy like this again in this socieity

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    • Yeah I know.. Even after 3 years he called me every single day and told me he loved me :( damn, Im such a whore.. he deserves way better..

    • You was away for him for three years, what happend has happend. He still loves you a love like that doesn't go away. The biggest mistake you did here was not to fuck someone else, but to not run after him and instead get a fuck buddy.
      dump him and do everything to get him back , seriously

  • If you still love him... this time, keep your legs closed together while being in a relationship with him again. Long distance relationships aren't for everybody and if you're horny and can't control it, then you are not made to be with him.

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