Please read my story, I really need opinions on this.
I met this guy back in 2011, we both were 15 years old. We fell madly in love with each other, it was the most amazing thing i had ever felt in my life. I would take a bullet for that boy. However, two weeks into the relationship we became long distance. 8000 miles apart. It was all through Skype. No one understood is and just made fun. I wouldn't even talk to other guys. It's like being taken but single at the same time. I was becoming sick of not having anyone close to me. Three years of not seeing each other went good, but then I went off for college. Met lots of new people, including guys. I started to spend a lot of time with students and found myself attracted to my guy friends. I was so done being alone, loving someone and not having them, and I confessed to my bf that I was attracted to a guy at college. Of course he was pissed, he couldn't be there to check on me. Our relationship started to ruin from there. I did hurt him a lot. He loved me more than anything and he always treated me like a princess but I was being a bitch and telling him that I was tired and giving up. Told him that its working. I suggested taking a break but he refused. One night i got drunk and ended up sleeping with my classmate. I told my boyfriend and he still forgave me (!!) I was shocked. However, I still broke it off because I wanted out of that relationshop. I hurt him big time. I saw him cry for the first time.
It was a few months ago, and we haven't talked for awhile now. I have a fuck buddy that doesn't give a crap about me.
I think about my ex a lot. I miss him so much. I feel like he was the love of my life and I gave up on him. It was a horrible mistake that I've made. He never stopped loving me even though we didn't see each other for three years. What if he was my mate but I cheated on him and I screwed it up? Should I just move on and leave him? He cut all the contact.
And how much of a bitch I am on a scale 1-10?
Most Helpful Guy
You need to move on - you have to make that decision today to turn the corner and not look back. Use this as a lesson for next time - I know long distance is hard and in your case particularly difficult because he lived so far away and you never saw him. If you go back and he does take you back I assure you the exact same thing will happen again. The friends with benefits proves it to you - you long for someone to connect with BUT also physical contact.
Your ex could only ever give you one of those - you need to move on and find a partner who can give you both of those things. That's the only way you'll be happy.
You need to let go of him, you need to forgive yourself for what you did and you need to learn from this so that you can really appreciate the next guy who comes a long and can give you both aspects that you desire.
I know this is messy, but you can climb out of this if you just stop hating on yourself - resolve to do better, move on and find that person.
You're stronger than you know! You got this!0