Now I find myself in one and I feel like I don't know how to be. I don't know how to incorporate him in my life and I feel set in my ways. Needing my freedome, independence and alone time. Yet I have a blast when I'm with him and he treats me amazing... And... We are really perfect for eachother. I am so guarded but can say that.
I don't know how to change my ways. It's a new relationship, though. Only been a couple weeks. I get overwhelmed a LOT because he wants to see me all the time. I have communicated all of this to him. And the fact we can have these conversations is wonderful..
Nothing with him is anything I never wanted in my marriage. He is actually everything I've ever wanted in a partner. So why is this so hard? Because I'm really THAT set in my ways? I didn't go looking for this. He pursued me. It happened. And I feel like I don't know how to enjoy this amazing thing.
Most Helpful Guy
In your case, considering your divorce and the freedom and self-reliance you've become accustom to in singledom, your difficulties to adjust to an unexpected, fast paced transition into a newly, unexpectedly formed relationship is to be expected.
With that being said, a relationship of any kind will unlikely completely change your individual needs, interests, or boundaries outside of a relationship in an instant. You need time to adjust.
My advice: be exceptionally honest about your need to slow the pace of the relationship down until you are in a place emotionally to fulfil his needs and wants, or, at least, compromise.
Most Helpful Girl
My husband left us a year ago when we had our last kid because he has always been afraid of having kids (so embarrassing). I was in a dark world, things did not go as we have planned when we exchanging our marriage vows, he hates kids and never plays with them even on their birthdays; he always wants to have me alone for reasons best known to him. I tried teaching him ways to love kids but he constantly keeps his distance away from them which made them to think that he is not their father.
He finally left us to an unknown destination when he couldn’t bear with the pressure around him. I suffered and convinced them that their father will change to a better man and come back. This made me stand by my word because I don’t want to be a lying Mother, so I had to find ways to bring back my Boo as a changed man until I overheard a woman in a mall talking to her friend about a Spell Doctor called Dr. Osaz who help her sister get back her husband; so I quickly asked her if she can help me with the doctor’s contact if he can help me. Thanks to her and Dr. Osaz who changed my husband and brought him back to us as I promised our kids. He now loves them and plays with them. Dr. Osaz him a lovely Father and Husband. I am so happy that I finally fulfilled the promise I made to my kids. Contact Doctor Osaz if you are suffered relationship humiliation via: spirituallove @ hotmail . com