Why can't I let go of someone who hurts me? How do I?

Within a few months, my physical relationship with my guy friend has escalated. We're still virgins but physically we act as a couple (hold hands, cuddle and kiss). We've become so comfortable around each other and its like we have this sort of magnet around each other. Unfortunately, I lost my first actual kiss to him. I say unfortunately because I wanted to save it for someone who deserved it. He hurts me emotionally, insults me (not too harshly) and barely talks to me when we're not around each other. I hate myself for letting hormones take over me and allow him to take advantage of me but I can't deny that I feel happy when we hug and kiss, it makes me forget my anger towards him.

In the end, I know he's no good for me because he's still my friend but then again I dont feel like he actually is. I dont know how to let go of something that was the closest thing I had to having a boyfriend and that brought me happiness I've never felt before..
Updates:
Our families are close so I see him very often and I can't exactly avoid him

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Its because your heart has got attached to him. You are not in love with him but you are in love with idea of "being in love with him". Cut all the contacts... live your life. You deserve a person who understands you and treats you right.

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    • I don't want to cut all contact with him because our families are really close, so I see him often at family parties, birthday parties, etc.. I dont want it to be awkward :/ isn't there somethig else i can do?

    • Then keep the minimum contact. And try to avoid much hanging out with him and his family, if possible. And start focusing on your career, try to make a diary entry and keep yourself as busy as possible. Do take up some new course and develop new activities.

    • Yeah I guess distraction is the way. Its still tough, I do dance and lifesaving courses throughout the week, yet I still think about this guy and how our "relationship" bothers me. Thanks for the advice :)

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  • Cut off all contact with him

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    • I don't want to cut all contact with him because our families are really close, so I see him often at family parties, birthday parties, etc. I dont want awkwardness :/ what else i can do?

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