Is it mean to want your ex's new relationship to fail?

Only broke up with my ex 5 weeks ago and she is already with a guy mate she had been talking to. We ended on good terms but this just annoys me because I do still care about her but I don't think she cares about herself. I don't believe what she is doing is at all healthy. She hated being single and I's very insecure so I think that may be partly why she's rushed into a relationship already. I Would think it's pretty unlikely she truly likes him even if she does I believe it may stem from feeling comfortable. I found this out seeing it through friends posts on Facebook. This relationship seems very materialistic in my opinion. And I'm hearing bad feedback about it already. I would rather it not be a rebound that then involved me either. I haven't spoke to her since a couple of weeks but this is something that just bugs me. It's not that I even want her back it's more to do with she seems to be sound this for all the the wrong reasons and trying to avoid the healing process after a breakup. What's your take? anyone had a similar experiences?


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  • It's as you stated, you still care about and her and perhaps perceives her willingness and comfort in moving on to someone else so soon after the breakup as a strong indication of your significance to her.

    Thus, you feel betrayed and insulted. It's like, "how could she? Why would she do this to me?" As a result, you have ill feelings towards her new relationship and towards her insensitivity towards your feelings for her, which, under the circumstances, seems reasonable.

    Given her history, I agree with your assessment of her and I suggest you be slow and careful to take her post-breakup decisions/behavior at face value.

    • I guess I'm disappointed and didn't think she would as you said. In other words I thought better of her and I find she was thinking quite irrationally. I think she is trying to recreate what we had before we had ended out relationship because she hates the thought of being alone she had a convenient guy mate I guess. But I guess logically she hasn't done anything wrong but morally maybe. Im also disappointed because I had hopes and she did too that we may of got back together in the future but this act just leaves me to believe she can be really unpredictable while dealing with emotions and to tread carefully in the future around her. I think she has a lot of growing to do still. I don't believe the relationship will work but it isn't any of my concern. I just need to take the correct steps to move on completely. Any additional advice? Thanks in advance

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    • Give yourself time to heal, man. An avoid blaming yourself, highlighting deficits you may feel you have, and telling yourself what ifs. What if this would have happened, for example, or, if only she did this, then would have been right for one another. Also, to prevent dwelling, avoid, if necessary, being alone for long periods. Life is not going to stop, so get out, hangout, and enjoy things that make you happy. In regards to your last comment: She seems very insecure and dependent. In fact, her behavior reflects someone who has abandonment issues. Thus her decision to move on may have very little to do with her feelings for you, if at all. By being with him, she may be trying to fill a need to be with someone.

    • Yeah that's very true. The hard part is trying not to dwell. I'm not on here to bag her out either. I don't think she is a bad person at all, just misguided. I'm just trying to find get closure to be honest.

      It's hard to forget a situation like this although over anylising is just going to prolong my healing process. I'm going to go With my instinct for once and that is concentrate on being a better me and loving myself. Thanks a lot for the advice helped a lot :)

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