I've been single now for 3 months, and honestly I don't think I want to date anytime soon. My last relationship was off/on for 2 years and it was really toxic, I didn't trust him because of a lot of things he did and he was emotionally distant. Well after the breakup I find out he started bashing me on social networks! Saying cruel untrue things like I'm a psycho, phony and he even said I abused him? Since then I've been off all social networks because even his online friends were bashing me and he's managed to convince a lot of people I'm a narcissistic phony person. This has really not made me want to date again at all, I feel like I can't trust again. Why would a grown man who's almost 40 do this? Why would he say these things if I left him alone after the breakup?
Most Helpful Guy
"Trust is not about how much you trust one person or another to do right or wrong. How much you trust another person is a function of how much you trust yourself to be strong enough to deal with their imperfections." Have enough faith in yourself to be able to put yourself on the line with someone, without any guarantee of what will happen next. If you're playing the game with sweaty palms, it's because you're afraid of what you can or can't do, or dealing with your own imperfections — it's not about the other person.
Know that you will get hurt if you're in a relationship. There is no perfect person without flaws. Even a well-intended guy is going to hurt his partner. He's going to hurt your feelings. He's going to say things that you don't want him to say. He's going to do things you wish he wouldn't do and not do things you wish he would do. A relationship is an imperfect union between two willing spirits who say, ''I'd rather be in a relationship and share my life, share my joys, share my fun, share my activities, share my life than do it alone." If you want to be in a relationship, know that getting hurt comes with the territory. You just have to decide that you are durable enough, that you have enough confidence in yourself that you can handle it.
Don't invest more than you can afford to lose. While it's important to move forward, you need to take things one step at a time. Don't put so much out there that you'll be emotionally bankrupt if things go south.
Don't beat yourself up. You got through your last experience, you've learned from it, and now it's time to move forward You'll move on and be a champion in your next endeavor as you did in your past... Life is not a success-only journey. You are going to get beat up along the way."2
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