Mixed Messages (Help guys!)?

I recently was told by a guy that I'm seeing that he just wants to be friends and that he is not looking for anything romantic right now/needs to "get his **** together." We had only been dating for a month, so I'll survive, but it was a confusing situation. He paid for every date, invited me to stay over several times (no sex.. he actually couldn't for an embarrassing reason), texted me every day, and asked me to be his Valentine. That day he cooked me dinner, gave me roses, scoured a store for my favorite wine... he couldn't find it so he bought one with at least the same word on the bottle. He also asked to meet my friends, whom I introduced a few. Then on Wednesday night he texted me saying he wasn't interested in dating anyone. He said he just wanted to be friends. I said maybe in the future if he could see me with other guys. He said, "I think after a little while I would be okay with that." Side note, he works a ton and most of his friends are single. Just why even bother with all of this? He also said, I had fun hanging out with you. i just am not really looking for anything romantic (although it sounds like maybe blackout drunk I was). He had said some things to me about really liking me when he was drunk and caring about me a lot. He also said things about me being gorgeous and I deserve someone who has his shit together. I personally wouldn't have spent Valentine's with someone if I didn't like them and didn't want to do romantic things. He unfollowed me on Twitter and defended me on snapchat after.
Just wanted to add that I understand the message was not mixed because he clearly did not want to be dating anymore, but I was thrown off after Valentine's day because his actions were on point until after.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Daww! It sounds to me like he has some self esteem issues. Did you make it abundantly clear to him that you think he's worth it? You shouldn't try and force anything, of course, but it sounds like he might just feel worthless; he could even be depressed. I'd try being his friend for a while I suppose...

    • I said to him that I'd still be interested in seeing where things go, but if he didn't want to i'd respect that. He still stuck to his guns that night. :-/

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    • Yeah it seemed as if he was not in a good place. He works until 1am every day, and I think he woke up after a fun weekend and felt extremely behind in work and couldn't handle both priorities. Just disappointing. I guess we'll see. Who really knows unless you're inside someone's head.

    • Definitely true. I mean, everyone has trouble with stuff... Try to be understanding, bit don't waste your life trying to coddle him if it comes to it. Hopefully both you and him will get through it just fine =)

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