How do I find the strength to not take her back?

My girlfriend of 2 and a half years left me for another guy. I had a ring at the time and I was going to propose to her. She told me that they were just friends and I believed her.

It's now 4 months later and she says that she wants me back. She lied to me about him for a long time and I know I can't take her back. As much as I hate her for what she did, I'm still in love with her. I told her that I will never be able to trust her again and that I can't be with her. But she keeps telling me how much she loves me and needs me.

She's so beautiful and when she looks at me and tells me she needs me it's almost impossible for me to say no. The feelings I had for her are still there, so how do I ignore them and find the strength to not take her back?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You're going to still love her regardless. I like to think of love like the conservation of energy, you know energy cannot be created nor destroyed but it can be transferred, love is the same way. What she did is inexcusable and if you feel you can't take her back then don't. The love you have for her on the other hand, it takes about half the time you're with someone to truly get over them, so it will still be there until you have grieved enough to transfer that love into someone or something else. Meaning you should do the following during that time: blocking, cutting off contact, having a "do not bring her up" agreement with your friends, getting rid of all physical remnants of her pictures included, digital ones you can put into an iCloud or password protected digital photo book, and finally just being by yourself.


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What Girls Said 2

  • What are your reasons for being unwilling or unable to take her back? Is it just the fear of being cheated on a second time?

  • Isn't her cheating enough reason for you to move on? Try to cut off contact with her asap


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