How can I gain my sense of identity back?

I'm going through a bad breakup with a live-in boyfriend. We've been together for about a year. Its my first serious relationship and moved in with him due to pressure from him and his family. He needed the support and I didn't see a problem with it. Since we've gotten together I've lost a lot of friends. Not say that he is to blame but I found some people around me to be unreliable and untrustworthy. Ever since we moved in together I had to force him to pay his share and made him get a better job. I feel like I've become his mother. Its terrible. He stays late after work and doesn't really talk to me. I've had to beg him to request the weekends off of work so we can spend time together. He's done it and it hasn't gotten any better and I'm totally miserable. He says I'm controlling and have anger problems which is true, but instead of trying to work with me he always finds a way to push my buttons. He claims he wants to become a better person but when I call him out on making stupid decisions he says Im controlling and has been avoiding me. I feel totally lonely now due to me not having friends anymore and essentially waiting on him. Now he's going to move out and I am glad but also scared. He sags he wants to do his own thing. I feel so stupid for falling into this clich├ęd situation. What can I do to get it together?


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  • '... but when I call him out on making stupid decisions he says Im controlling and has been avoiding me.'

    Were you saying these things in an encourage way though? There's no worse feeling than having someone constantly put you down and make you not feel good enough.

    Do you have a family or friends you can go to in the meantime? Or can you come up with an arrangement until you've found new accommodation?

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    • When I would be nice about it he would just brush me off and when I was mean about it I felt like he actually I started to listen. It sucks but I'm tired of being the only one caring in this thing, my life doesn't revolve around him.
      I actually don't. My parents aren't at their home a few hours away so I can stay there.

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