Why is he saying he's there for me but treats me like shit?

I briefly spoke to my ex, telling him to burn my love letter because I didn't feel he deserved it, he'd been making out he despised me for the past week or so and the words in the letter didn't apply any more. I thought he'd do it or throw it away but he said he'd keep it. He then got nasty and was saying I was acting like a 12 year old somehow, that this was like something from highschool and even said it's "just a piece of paper", yet he seems intent on keeping it. I asked why and he said because he wanted to and he wasn't going to do what I tell him.

Despite this, he was saying "I'm still here for you", he's been like this since we broke up and I don't know how he can be saying that after how he's treated me. He's been an absolute dick towards me, making the whole break up much harder. He even apologised because he realised just how badly he treated me after the break up, he purposely rubbed things in my face and he's been incredibly cold and heartless towards me.

He not long started opening about how he felt and we were on better terms, but then in that brief conversation, I could see what a dick he'd become. He was so rude, uncaring and cruel in what he said. He started just sending those big thumbs up instead of responding which just shows immaturity.

Why has he gone from being more receptive to real nasty towards me? I never felt anyone love me as much as he did so to have him treat me like this, hurts and goes against what he made me believe for two years.
Why will he still be offering to be there for me whilst he's being so cruel to me? He messaged me yesterday saying "I hope your okay?" and I told him to leave me alone which he did. How on earth could he help me anyway?


Most Helpful Guy

  • First, it's your fault to contact him about that letter. You really acted like a child. You are hurt badly and that's why you are having such issues. Control your state of mind otherwise I can predict the calamity.

    Second, he deserves the possession of the letter.

    Third, he's egocentric guy. No denying, he loves you and loves you BUT you are acting like a barrier in his hedonism. He needs your love as well as fresh-V. Typical teenage dream.

    Fourth, you are his back-up

    Fifth, he failed finding any replacement that's why he's insecure about his future. He's in turmoil, whether he should stay attached with you or not. He doubts his capabilities.

    Sixth, if you guys were in your twenties, you'd never experience such shit.

    Seventh, no denying, he'd be the most lovely guy. No doubt, he's not the right guy.

    • I didn't act like a child, I literally told him to burn the letter and he became hostile. I was speaking to him about my feelings and he laughed at me which he's never done before. He's become almost evil, it's disturbing to say the least.
      He doesn't deserve it, to me. How he's treated me, it's proven that he has no right to anything to do with me now.

    • That IS childish Hannah,
      You are making a little thing into a big issue. It's a mere letter not your heart (I can understand your feelings but please try to become practical). He spent 2+ years with you, he MADE you to write such lovely things. These words were legit for the past moments. This is not a affidavit to reclaim your love. Don't request him anything.
      You are feeding his ego.
      The more you try to forget him the more you will remember him.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he's gone girl. Let him go. I have some more personal thoughts. Message me.


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What Guys Said 7

  • well you gave him the letter so technically he can do what he wants with it. I don't get why he would just get rid of it like you want, but to each his/her own. A lot of guys use the coldness as a shield against emotion. He is probably acting like a dick because it keeps him from feeling the emotions of pain and guilt he would/should be feeling.

    • I know but in the letter, it says everything that's not the complete opposite. That letter was like a piece of my heart, which now I feel he doesn't deserve so I'm not comfortable with him having it and reading it whenever he feels like a pick up.

    • yeah unfortunately when you give someone a piece of your heart it is up to them whether they cherish it or destroy it. That's the risk you take opening up to someone.

  • Your first mistake was contacting him to burn that love letter. Who cares at that point, you certainly shouldn't.

    And now, you shouldn't be trying to decipher this puzzle of a dude, it's honestly a waste of time.

  • The only thing I could imagine could explain the situation, is that he was rude since something was making him so emotional I didn't control his emotions anymore.
    Or, he was under the influence of alcohol when he was rude and is sweet when he's sober. That's something that you often see with people who have a drinking problem.
    One or another way something weird is happening. Why would someone who was cruel to you than switch to being sweet? And which of both is "the real him"?

  • Looks like he is stuck between hating you and wanting you back.
    He is obviously overrun by emotions right now so i wouldn't take his words to seriously.

    Part of him wants you back and part of him hates you.

    • I don't know why he hates me, I've not done anything bad to him!

    • Show All
    • We went on a break, I was working super hard to get things on track and then he said he couldn't do it any more, blamed me for most of it, then said he wasn't ready for commitment. It was going to be me leaving, then it became kind of mutual, then he just left without trying.

    • That is totally around my way of thinking or any situation i have personally been in.
      Can't really speak for him in this case.

  • Because he's a scumbag!
    Hate that kind of people.

  • I know that feeling

  • Is he your age?

    • Sounds just like a situation that I know very well from when I met my girlfriend with her x, He's out of high school now and is gotten bored with the relationship and wants to meet new girls but still cares about you as a friend. Teen boys are very immature and change there minds a lot, although they can act mature but they think they are young yet and want to explore new adventures while still wanting to keep the friendship with the x kind of like a backup QB someone to lean on

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