Why does exboyfriends play mindfucking games with girls they dump?

A month ago, my boyfriend of 6 months dumped me. It came out of nowhere, but apparently he isn´t ready for anything serious. He wants to be just friends for a while though (lol, i know) I told him I was OK with it, but cried myself to sleep for two days until I got my shit together. I see him everyday at school, so the "no contact" is impossible. Instead I´m quite short with him some days, then friendly and bubbly other days (depending on how I feel about him) However, I never initiate any form of contact, I only and bluntly respond to his. Now he is complimenting my looks all the time, asking me for movie tips, if we discuss school-stuff he´ll later apologize for minor disagreements (he is REALLY not the type to apologize for anything) and giving me rides to school. He has started telling me about girls he has made out with or girls he thinks are cute. I pretend to not care at all.. like "yeah, I guess she´s pretty cute etc" But when I tell him about guys I´ve made out with or whom I talk to he gets weird.. pretends he doesn´t listen, leaves or wants to know who they are. Honestly, what is he doing? He dumped me for christ sake. I do want him back, but I´ll never let him know that (unless he comes crawling back, begging on his knees) My pride is more important to me right now, and I´ll never for a second let him think he has any control or power over me. I might sound a bit crazy, but I´m just trying to protect myself while figuring this thing out. If we are to be only friends, I´ll be able to get there at one point and enjoy it somewhere down the road, but I don´t want him to think that I´ll ever be his fallback girl or someone he can hook up with, because he lost those privileges a month ago. Any ideas of what to make of this?
He sent me 5 texts yesterday, asking me what my plans were and if I wanted to watch a movie at his place. I didn´t and have yet not responded


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok... I see a lot of this stuff happening to girls predominantly and it can be one of two things:

    1) He is truly trying to get back with you... however if this is the case, he should not be coming off as a pain in your keester! Texting you at stupid times... asking hey what are you up to... because he knows your schedule. If he is texting you to say he needs to talk with you then more than likely he wants to clear the air about breaking-up or he wants to ask you to get back together. He might just be unsure of himself and unsure where you both stand and accidently does a little mind play to see where you are at and whether you would still accept him back or not... however that period should be short-lived!

    Then there is option 2...

    2) If your ex is constantly playing mind games with you... the only reason is... he still wants a piece of action. At least he just wants to present it as option. So he uses your old feelings for him to set himself up, so that he can get laid and not have to be in a relationship! This is an ideal situation for him, but not for you obviously as he tries to string you along. If he is shooting you little texts every once in awhile... popping up here and there... he is just trying to prey on your old feelings for him.

    Therefore to nip it in the butt... call him out on it... ask if he is looking to get back together... if he says no... then you know it is likely option 2 that he is after.

    If its No. 2, tell him to take a hike and not bother texting again! There are much better guys out there that will treat you with respect and not mess with your mind!

    • Thank you! To be honest, I think he is very confused, he has even told me that himself. His behavior though, is starting to confuse me. He´ll tell med about girls he find attractive, then tell me how attractive I am, and then switch to tell me about this girl he has kissed and asked out (she declined though) If he wants to get back with me, I must really reconsider his social skills if he thinks that this is the right approach. I am worried he is going for no.2, but regardless if he is aware or not - that is not going to happen, ever. He´ll only get to screw me over once, and that has already happened. I am trying to move on the best way I can, but him initiating contact everyday is making that hard for me. Especially now that he wants to hang out with me! I don´t know if I´m overanalyzing this or if there is something to worry about

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    • He just called me and asked me what I was up to yesterday, right now and later today and of course why had not replied to his texts. He told me he had even checked my Facebook... He´s at his mom´s cabin this weekend, but he wanted to know if I´m interested in hanging out with him sometime next week. Now I´m starting to think he might consider no.1 Ah, this is so confusing!! If I do decide to hang out with hi, should I tell him what I think and feel? Might only be a friendly gesture on his part, but I don´t know. I don´t want to give him "the power" if that´s what he is seeking

    • If he is that confusing and it troubles you that much then tell him... just because he lives across the street... does not mean you have to put up with his crap!

      It sounds to be like you would be better just not bothering with him... over time he will get the hint and leave you alone... just let it fizzle!

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What Guys Said 2

  • No one can play mind games with anyone. People allow other people to play mind games without even realizing it. Understand the difference

    • I have to disagree with you on that one. I am suspecting him of playing mind games with me, but I am not biting into it. All though I want him back, I´ll never consider that an option unless he specifically tells me that he wants me back too. As far as I am concerned him and I are only friends (regardless of me wanting more) and I´ll be his friend, but nothing more than that.

  • girls r dumb and its fun

    • Do I sound dumb to you?

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    • ^_^!

    • I´m starting to doubt if he is trying to play tricks with me. He just called me from his families cabin! He was worried about why I hadn´t replied to the 5 texts he sent me yesterday, wondering what I was doing right now and later today and asking for a raincheck on the movie he wanted to watch with me yesterday. I´m not putting my guard down yet though haha

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