We broke up over 2 years ago. He moved out west after he graduated college and Im still here. We haven't spoken since, I deleted his number and Facebook. Everything. But this guy changed my life. I always knew he was a bad guy but it is if the bad guy was what kept me so interested. I never knew which way the relationship was going to be. I knew when it would end though that it wouldn't end well.
Have you seen the video of Eminem with Love the way you life? The guy in the video is my ex. And I am so inlove with him and after 2 years I can't get over it. He changed me. I never knew when he left if he was going to come back again. But he always did eventually. He was emotionally abusive and it was awful but at the same time I loved every moment of it.
I have been with another guy for a year and ahalf. I said yes to him beceause I needed someone to help me escape the toxic relationship. And yes I love my new guy. He treats me right, he is always there for me. But we never fight, the relationship is easy. Im so addicted to my old relationship. Every waking day I thinnk about the bad guy. He said he was sick of immature relationships and new that he didn't treat me right. I just dont understand. I need help. Why can't I move on?
I feel like I loved the idea of him, a strong build, tall, musclar handssome, loved the outdoors, everything I liked. But he would go days without contacting me. Ignore me in public. Even told me he ignored me to keep me interested. We are not getting back together and probably never seeing eachother ever again. But last summer we caught sight of eachother and I always feel this violent turn in my stomach and sinking in my heart as if my body is rejecting him. Even though my heart is screaming for him. I dream about him often and when I do its like Im searching for the negativity in the dream and when I find it, its him. And in the dream when he glances up at me its light he's ashamed for what he did. Im so upset over this whole thing.
Most Helpful Guy
It's similar to the Stockholm Syndrome; you're trapped by this bad person but you begin to defend him because you start empathize with him. Then, you want to seek his approval. Him starving you of attention just makes you want it more. All you want to do is just have him give you that satisfaction. This is normal to people who get abused. The first step is to tell yourself that you deserve better; you don't deserve to be treated that way. Then associate that pain to him; he never did any favors for you. Stay away from him. When there's that small desire to want him, remind yourself the hurt and pain and anguish and focus on that pain. A small part of you has hope that he will change and treat you better and give you that attention, but you're only fooling yourself.7
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