How do I get over my ex?

Last year I had a relationship with a boy (or at least I thought). I ended it because either he cheated on his gf with me or he cheated on me with her. He said to me she's his best friend, but to his friends and family she's in a relationship with him and I'm just someone he knows. He said they are faking a relationship but for some reason they have been in a long-term relationship together for several years. This led to me ending what we had.

I have a friend again and we are together for some time now. I love my boyfriend to bits (in other words a lot) but a few days ago, when I found a old photo of said ex while cleaning, I noticed I still had feelings for him.

I know I don't want him back, but why do I still have feelings for that ex while I know my boyfriend is beter than him in everything and that my boyfriend truly loves me?

Updates:
As people don't see to notice, I have a boyfriend and I love him very much. Thats why I don't want the feelings for my ex.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The human heart is very complicated, and everyone is a bit different. It sounds like you love your current boyfriend but cannot forget your ex. There are many kinds of love in this world and I really can understand not being able to let go of the past, I tried another relationship with an ex of mine. The relationship didn't work out, we had problems and ultimately just could not get past them. Its different for everyone, for some it could work out, for others it does not.

    The best advice I can give you is to figure out what you want to do about these feelings. If sounded as if you want to forget the past, I wouldn't advise forgetting about it completely. You'll need to come to terms with your feelings and move past them remember the good memories but realize that the here and now is whats best and let time erode your lingering feelings. if you can accept this I think in time you will be ok, its worked for me at least. Honestly it not something easy to do but I hope this helps.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just because two people Break up doesn't mean they can't and don't make up or Even--------I noticed I still had feelings for him.
    You may find that with the skeleton in the closet, you may have had 'Different' feelings for him that are a bit Differently from the boy you have now. You may love him 'to bit,' however, that is not saying, you never really got over the one who is still rattling your chains some and that what he did to you was never completely forgotten... you never actually found comfort or a closure to it and with some memories you came across, this just drums up a few old ghosts.
    In time, being you and your Greater who is much Better for you here, dear, will continue to nurse and nurture this beautiful relationship you have. And one day, no matter what would float your way, you will Happily be able to say: "Oh, him... how silly I was."
    Let time be your closure with the clock.
    Good luck. xx

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • Its just ur emotional attachment while being with him. u have to accept the truth & believe in present one that he is superb too. spent most of ur time with him so u can forget about ur ex.

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    • Actually my ex isn't that good if I compare him to my current boyfriend, my current boyfriend is suberb. It might be what you said, an old attachment.

  • Maybe those are just memories and try to feel positive about it in terms of being grateful for the good times and moreover the lesson you got. Sometimes we look for an approval we never got from someone we love, which we need to give ourselves really. This is mixed up as having feelings for him rather than just having unresolved feelings

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  • I agree with WiseTruth, for the most part, you dont miss the person, you miss the memories before all the shit wen down. Don't worry about it too much, its not your feelings, its the memories. In anycase, recreate those memories with your current bf and make them anew thus nulifying your previous memories.

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  • Feelings don't go away. I'm still close with afew ex's and every now and then think of a few others. It's normal to get caught off guard every now and again (happened to me recently, and I posted about it here). The trick is to know you're still with your current, and to not dwell in the past.

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  • Have sex with a black guy... You'll instantly be over the ex and on to Bigger and better cock

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    • Thank you for showing that you are a pig.

  • Have sex with one of his friends and make sure he knows about it and make sure he knows that his friends is better in the sack than he could ever be

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  • Time... that's about it. "Drown" yourself in your hobbies and spend time with your girlfriends often. Talk it out.

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  • meeting new people and going out with friends and dating new people

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    • I doubt my boyfriend would like that I date other people.

    • sorry o didn't read the full question i will now and tell you what i think

  • By moving on and dating others

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    • As I already said, i moved on and have someone. It's just that when I found a picture and that brought back feelings.

  • Sleep with me, you'll forget all about it.

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  • submerse yourself in work and other actives.

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  • If I Had Given Up On My Ex, We Would Not Be Happily Married Today!
    My Feelings For Her Never Went Away, I Knew Deep In My Heart, She And I Were Meant To Be!

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    • And did your wife had a (fake) relationship with her best male friend which she used to have a relationship with?

    • No She Didn't, I Realize Circumstances Are Different.
      I Was Only Going By Not Giving Up.
      However You Did Mention Still Having Feelings For Him, That Is A Tough One.
      I Wish I Had A Solution For You.

  • Get some new dick!!

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    • Lol dead ass

    • It seems you haven't read it all. I have, as you call it, some new dick.

What Girls Said 11

  • "It's normal not to forget your first love." I know he may not have been your first love but it's totally normal not to stop caring for someone. It doesn't necessarily mean you have feelings for them, just that you care. And I know it's not what you want to hear but just forget. He doesn't deserve to be in your life so you have to just let go.

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  • I think it's completely normal? If it's someone you loved or even worse your first love your always going to have what ifs? It doesn't mean you want him back or that you don't love your current boyfriend? It's human nature but I would recommend getting rid of anything that reminds you of your ex because it'll just be upsetting for you?

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  • If you were in a relationship for a long time you're always going to have feelings for them whether you want to or not, but in reality you're probably feeling sadness towards the memories you shared with him, the really good ones that you think back on and smile, you're more in love with the memories than you are with your ex and that s completely fine

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  • Once you really fall inlove with your boyfriend you'll forget all about the ex, in the moment it seems like you'll never get over it, and you'll continue to have a soft spot for him for maybe a year or two but after that, you'll forget him

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    • I'm fully in love with my boyfriend (wouldn't call him my boyfriend if it wasn't that way). It's just that I have this lingering feeling for the ex while I know he isn't worth it.

  • Literally only time will help. Go out, meet new people, travel, anything that will keep your mind off them for that time being. With time you will get over it

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  • Sometimes your heart needs more time to except what your mind already knows.

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  • The guy below me is gross. Nobody likes purple cock all ashy and nasty

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  • maybe you are a thrill seeker. Your current boy friend is too dull?

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  • I think it’s important to just focus on the good times you had with them and not dwell that it ended badly. Try to focus on the positive and think of the good times. And hopefully one day you guys can be mature enough to put the pain behind you and maybe start over as friends or at least get over the “bad” part of the break up. And have closure on good terms :) You can't keep bottling in all your feelings for him and shit because sooner or later you're going to explode! Once you have closure you'll feel wayyyyyy better!

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  • time will help you...

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  • time is the best, finding new activities to do as well. Learn a new language (its free on duolingo. com), take up a new hobby or something. Just something to take your mind off it.

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