My bf and I broke up about 10 days ago completely out of the blue due to his depression that he's had since 4 months into our relationship (we had dated for a year) and he has been in therapy for it. He had been saying how he felt so much worse than usual the two weeks ish before this happened but he gets more depressive episodes that come every few months and last a few weeks before snapping out of it, so I figured that's what this was. He called me one night out of the blue after he stopped answering me in the middle of a sweet conversation, and he was freaking out saying he couldn't do this anymore and he was so confused and depressed but didn't want to break up. We went on a break and I sent him a long encouraging sweet text a day, but a few days later we broke up. He said he was so depressed, wasn't happy with anything in his life including us, didn't feel in love with me, but wanted to remain best friends because he still sees me in his future and would want to try again? we talked a few times since then and it was light and friendly, but now he's ignoring me everytime I try to contact him (im trying to get my stuff from his house). he's suddenly ignoring me and avoiding me and his friend told me he isn't really talking to anyone, but he asks about me and there's no chance of him wanting to date someone else. I'm just so angry and confused because I want to see him and talk to him and get the story from him bc guys aren't going to be all emotional with each other. This was so out of the blue, just days before he was telling me how I cleared the mess in his head and I meant the world to him and he loved me so much. I asked him when we broke up if he meant those things and he said of course he did. How does that change so quickly? How does he suddenly not love me. He's being so confusing & I hate it. He doesn't know what he wants. I can't even explain how much I love him & how wonderful we were, we adored each other and had the most loving& caring relationship
- He does love you but he can't feel it right now because of how messed up he is. He'll come back once he figures himself out but in the meantime you should focus on you and take care of yourself until thenVote A
- You should move on. He's being a jerk and you shouldn't have to suffer if he's screwing upVote B
Most Helpful Guy
Depression is a REAL disease. People who do not suffer it, do not tend to understand or empathize with it. If you find yourself telling him to "pull himself out of it", you don't really understand it. If you love him. If you truly love him--- convey how much it hurts you to see him hurting. Then in a non-confrontational way, tell him that BECAUSE you love him (if you do), you want him to see a doctor, because depression is a disease, and just like you'd go to the doctor for pancreatitis, that he should go to a doctor for his depression. It sounds like his is chemical and not situational. Chemical depression can be managed very well with medications like Zoloft. There is a huge stigma against seeking treatment for depression, which is sad. I suffered it for 10 years before seeking help. Seeking said help was the best decision I ever made. So again, if you love him, do this--- and support him, but also accept that there is NO magical overnight fix. It takes time for medication to have an effect. Additionally, therapy would likely benefit him.2
Most Helpful Girl
I understand what you're going through my guy did that too.
Just know that he is going through stuff. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, or that you are not good enough. You totally are. I recomend maybe moving on and continuing with your life until he figures out what's up. Then he can come and get you back, that is if you still want him. I know it's hard, but you have to do what's best for you. Don't worry, if it's meant to be, it will be. :)5