Cheated on my boyfriend with my ex?

I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years, mentally and physically.. I broke up with him and cleared the apartment of my things then a few weeks later i met someone, who still had a girlfriend at the time and was in the middle of breaking up with her, I started seeing him after they had broken up, (we weren't dating at the time, he asked to be "exclusive until I was ready to date) he saw bruises on me and knew I was in an abusive relationship, I told him I needed time to get over it and he told me he understood, but was always pushy when it came to my feelings towards him.. I went back to my ex, I slept over and he tried to get in my pants all night, I didn't let him, then in the morning, basically catching me by surprise he had sex with me, for two years all I knew was to just give him what he wanted, or he would get mad at me (hit me or scream at me).. So I let him. I told him to stop and I guess he took it as I was being playful and just turned me around and did it, I broke down to the guy I was seeing about what had happened, I told him it was twice ( I was scared my ex would tell him different to sabotage my happiness, he is capable of that) we took things slow from there but with time everything got better, he asked me to be his girlfriend in November, December 28th he said he was "so in awe with how great things are" January 1st he broke up with me and told me the reasoning was because of what happened, then dated someone else a week later.. I want to explain to him that it was only once, and I was scared of my ex, I was scared for my life and my relationship, I just miss him dearly, but he repeated the same pattern with me that he did with his ex.. Should I say anything or is it not worth it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You could try and talk to him.
    The sex with your ex. is not cheating. It's rape. You said no. Your ex did not stop.
    Go to the police and get that a**hole charged. Especially because you were scared for your life.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you need to give relationships altogether a break for a while, and focus on healing yourself. Maybe even getting counseling. You moved on way too quick from an abusive relationship and you're really not able to fully commit to anyone at this point.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I stopped reading at "I went and slept over at my ex's". You knew damn well (or should have) what was going to happen. I'd dump you, no questions asked.

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What Girls Said 4

  • You have more important issues to deal with than dating someone. Try focusing on your emotional wounds from past relationships first, otherwise you won't ever have a stable and fulfilling relationship.

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  • so that means that after a while of your relationship he realized that he couldn't forget what happened? i mean he suddenly felt that he can't get over it?

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    • yes, he gave me "his word" that he would never give up on me, he told me he loved me the night I told him what I did, wanted to have sex with me after it happened and I told him I felt disgusted with myself with what I had done, which now I do not blame myself for, I bounced back too fast from my previous relationship, when my boyfriend at the time bounced back from his two year relationship in a week, then started dating me.. When we broke up I cried to him about the abuse and he told me "if you would of said something sooner it would of made more of a difference" told me he was still thinking about us but he said "I can't get over what happened, how you let some guy stick his dick in you twice in a week" then I found out he's been talking to some girl since December the 26th, he brought it up when we spoke after the breakup, January 9th said someone just had interest in him and it doesn't mean anything, then January 15th I find out they're dating..

    • I didn't tell him it was only once, I didn't feel like I should excuse myself out of what I had already told him, but I don't know if I should tell him now, since he clearly understands what I went through but just doesn't care to deal with it, I think he merely used what I did to excuse himself for meeting someone else so quickly.

    • well dear , regardless of details, i see that you really really need a looooooooong break with you and yourself alone , you jumped into the next relationship after an already abusive one so fast , then he also left you , maybe he just can't get over the fact that you slept with your ex twice , well okay , you were still brain washed , tired and controlled by your ex, it was a mistake. now forgive yourself , try to have a long break, have fun , sleep and eat , dont wait for the next relationship , i know you love the second one and it is really hard, but try to stay away for a while and if he is meant to be with you he will come back <3

  • I think you should just move on. Start fresh. None of these relationships are good for you.

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  • Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

    You have already stayed with an abusive partner for eons. This chap has precinditioned you for other abusers.
    You will never ever have a normal or healty revalations hip again. You had better stay single doll!

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    • That's not true. Don't be so fucking harsh. She's 18, she's young.

    • It is true! I've done a decade research on it. She should have cats instead

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