My ex controlling violent bf is playing mind games with me and I dont know what to think do or say help?

iv have been in this hell ride for just under six years iv been trying to get away for him for years but it feels like he has a spell over me that no1 nether myself understands! he's heavily into drugs and crime and i didn't know this about him until i was to involved with him! i tried to help him and done literally everything for him (even layed his clothes out every morning otherwise he would make me feel bad and kick me out my own home!) before i met this man i was out going confident had no worries! and now im broken i feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel! every time i leave him he chases me everywhere i go constantly calling texting!! and coz my family hate him i can't have him come to where i am otherwise there will be hell but he threats that he's gonna come anyway and wait outside my mums house (which in the past he has done) im so confused in my life that i don't know why he does this to me coz everytime i go back to him he its nice for couple days then bang!! he's back to being a crazy cunt!! but i dint understand it? because he blames me for it and he really believes his own lies!! which then i seconded guess myself and think maybe it is me maybe i have a problem? but all my friends family and even his friends have said to me its not you its him? but this time its slightly different? he's not contacted me for about 2 weeks nether have i him!! but he's now spreading rumors which are so untrue and posting pics of him and a girl from the weekend then texting my friends to see if they have spoke to me? he said to a friend that he's moved on then he text bk sayin he hasn't really moved on he's just trying to get me back? but i had a moment of weakness yesterday a phoned him which he replied don't ring me? how head fucking is that? i know i shouldn't be with this boy but i just want some advise on why he's doing these things to me when all i ever done for him was love and care for him so much! this is the hardest thing iv ever had to do in my life guys x
why would u say that mate? just imagine this being your mum or sister if you have any would u say the same to them? if your gonna be stupid then don't post on here please thanks


Most Helpful Guy

  • Tl;dr but from what i can tell, he's unsure about you, i had the same thing, one moment u feel lonely next moment u feel so good on ur own, best cause of action, block his number and move on... Sorry if that sounds insensitive :/


Most Helpful Girl

  • This sounds like emotional abuse. I'm glad you are seeking counselling, because I think it will really help.

    I was in a situation like this a couple years ago. I started seeing this guy, as he seemed really nice and smart. We talked, we had a few things in common. He was a little older than me but I didn't mind.

    When my lease was up, he told me to move in with him so I did. That's when this all started. He started to get angry and upset with me if I did not cater to him. If I didn't cook dinner for him, he would yell at me and threaten to kick me out of his apartment.

    If I didn't clean up his messes, then he would yell at me and threaten me. I was scared and because I had no where else to go at the time I didn't know what to do.

    He would text me and threaten to hit me and assault me if I told anyone. I eventually go out of the relationship. And I am so glad I did!

    You do not deserve this at all! What he is doing is not love it is abuse!

    He's getting angry with you because he feels he cannot control you at this point. What you need to do is you need to change your number, or block his number on your cellphone. I have an app called Mr. Number which allows me to block numbers. It's free and it works really well!

    Also, delete him off facebook and tell your friends you are trying to get away. This is in fact abuse, no one who truly loves you will threaten and yell at you for moving on with your life. Normal people do not do that.

    Unfortunately you are a very caring soul who took sympathy on a guy who you thought was in hard times. He saw you as someone he could manipulate and control and that is how this whole thing got started. It's not your fault, you were just trying to be kind. But trust me, this guy does not love you. You need to get out and stay as far away from him as you can.

    Tell your friends that you do not want them telling him about you.

    Please don't go back to him because he will only do this again!


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • If I where u I'd get the hell outta there.

  • Counseling.

    • already go mate just want to know from a boys point what he's tryin to do to me thats all

  • You should get back together with him

    • cheers for that lets hope your mum or sister or a close friend doent have this problem in your life span what great help u would be!!

    • Just get a restraining order.

What Girls Said 2

  • Let it go now and never ever think about him again!!
    He is a sociopath and potencially very dangerous. He is fucking with your head because he is a sick sick person who gets off on messing with you.

    I mean, what the actual fuck is this crap about throwing you out of your own house?

    Cut him out of your life completely and get a restraining order ASAP!

  • Honey I'm never going to change never men like that you need to stay away from and I understand you been with him for 6 years I've been in the same boat and believe me it was hard it took me a year to get over him but what I did was I put an order for protection on him I got myself a job I got my life together and now I'm happy as I can be he seems like a lowlife controlling freak and its never your fault for that you need to leave him before it's too late do this for yourself you need to love yourself good luck


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