Communication breaking down in long-distance relationship. Not sure if too busy to talk or losing interest?

I think my GF is losing interest, but too polite to come out and say so. I know she's very busy with school (too busy to Skype, she says - we used to Skype for hours at a time but have only IM'ed for the last month), but this last week, she's found time to update Facebook but hasn't responded to or even read my messages. We weren't fighting or anything, I don't know what the deal is.

I'm trying to decide how to approach this. It's happened before, where we'll go a while without contact and my (private) doubts start creeping up, then we'll get to talk for an afternoon and I'll feel like a heel for questioning anything in the first place. Nothing quite like this, though, where my messages aren't even read.

I figure I'll back off, wait a few more days and see if I hear anything from her, but if by next weekend I haven't heard anything... God. Would anyone have any advice on this? We made it work for six months, now I don't know what to think.

To be clear, I want her to be happy, whether I'm part of her future or not. Always have. I've been trying to find ways to be supportive - she's under a lot of pressure - but as much as I want to, I can't take her out for a relaxing evening on the town. If she wants to end things... if she needs someone who can do those things for her, it'd be better than not knowing. I'm just not a fan of this suspense.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You know I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years, and 3 of those years were long distance, 3 hours away.

    Visiting is really important when you can. When I had gotten a car, during the summer I'd visit him all week and go home to work on weekends, since he didn't have transportation at the time. Once he got a truck we both visited back and forth. I don't know how far away you are but you guys should find a way to do that.

    Also if you have no goals of someone moving closer, then its going to go downhill. I think that's the only reason why ours lasted so long, is because we were working towards living someday in the same town, and actually doing something about it. I first tried to go to school where he lived but it didn't work out due to out of state admission problems. So he started working towards moving here. Once he got his truck he looked around for jobs til he found one.

    Having a goal to end the long distance I think is equally important as visitation.

    You guys need to talk about your relationship and figure out is this what you both want, and if it is, start planning on making it serious. It is a lot of hard work, you definitely have to work for it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Loosing interest.

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    • As recently as this Tuesday, we were still talking about things we'd do when we got back together. The silence since then has me puzzled.

What Guys Said 1

  • It's a long distance relationship... Some people just need to grow up and realize those DO NOT work. It was over the second one person decided to leave.

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    • We made it work for six months. Some make it work for years. If she's lost interest, she's lost interest, and I can't fault her for that... I can't say for certain that's what's happened here, but if it does come to pass, I'd hope she would say something. I've been trying to think of how to broach the topic without pissing her off if I'm wrong.

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    • There's the reaction I expected. I'm amused by this image you've come up with of who you think she is.

      Nah, this is me reacting to you.

    • You can react without disputing that beta and alpha are what I said they were. And not intsinuating that they are made up patriarchal forms of control or some feminazi shit. Re-read.. You added some bitch shit in there as a personal attack (i assume) that made you look beta as fuck.

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