Is my ex a jerk or is what he did common for guys?

Back on November 8, my (ex) boyfriend broke up with me. We had broken up a few times so I thought it was temporary. A week later, he made out with me and almost got back with me but then decided not to. A week after that, he began seeing another girl, one whom he had previously worked with (I didn't find out about them dating until mid December). When I found out, I was devastated and asked how long he had been seeing her (he lied and said a few days when it had been a few weeks) and asked if he had been seeing her while he was with me and he promised he wasn't. I called him a jerk and he didn't understand why I called him a jerk. So my questions are these: was he seeing her while he was with me? And is what he did a dick move or am I just being overly emotional? I know this happened a while ago, but I just want to get some honest insight and not just friends/people comforting me by telling me he was a jerk and I deserve better. Thanks for your help.
By the way, when I was dating him, he was the sweetest guy... The only problem was that he would rarely apologize when I was upset. So the way it ended was really a shock. He said to me "If you start dating someone in the next month, I'll probably be too upset to stay friends on fb" and then he completely went and did what he didn't want me to do. I just don't get how someone can do such a 180 like that.
Also, the reason he claimed he broke up with me was that he wanted to be single (then he gets another gf 2 weeks later). So he must have been lying so that there was no way I could try to work things out if he wanted that... so that's why I gave up on him so easily even though I really loved him. I just don't get how I came to mean nothing to him so quickly and here I am, still bothered by the whole thing 4 months later.


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) he's not your bf, why do you feel you need an explanation?
    2) why haven't you moved on?
    3) why do you encourage this coming and going thing?
    4) There isn't such a thing as " something guys do" or "girls do" People in general do different things. Not that it concerns you because he's not your bf

    • The reason I care is because I like knowing. He broke up with me because he claimed he wanted to be single. Then he dated someone 2 weeks later. So I don't know why he broke up with me so I can't fix myself if I don't know what I did wrong. Also, as I said, he was the nicest guy I've ever met. So if he turned out the way he did, what does that say about future nice guys I meet? I feel like I won't be able to trust anyone anymore. I feel like if I come to understand what the hell happened, then maybe I can move on and start trusting again. He may not be my boyfriend anymore, but I spent 20 months with him nearly all day and night, so of course I was a bit shocked to have it all mean absolutely nothing all of a sudden. And I'm still confused and I wanted better closure and an explanation, which I never got.

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    • You're right. This experience has taught me many things. I don't have many male role models, but I'll do my best. I'll also focus on myself for a while, to be a better person who learns from past mistakes. Thanks for your advice :)

    • "I dont have many male role models"

      There is your answer. Figure out why and think about how to change that. you'll find having that support group can make a difference. These are basic building blocks to a healthy lifestyle. We all need them. Guy or girl.

      Best of luck my dear xx

Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 2

  • Sometimes we really can't know the answer and people just do things we can't comprehend. Just remember forrest for the trees my friend, be glad it did not continue.

  • He is a jerk.


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