How to deal with boyfriend's emotional ex girlfriend?

So my boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 months. Before we starting dating, he was in a long term relationship with a girl from college.

They were pretty serious, and from what he's told me, she was a mess when they broke up. She messaged him all the time about why he was breaking up with her, telling him that he was the only dependable thing in her life because of her bad relationship with her parents, begging him to take her back, and that she will wait for him forever. She talks about being depressed, having nightmares, etc. to him all the time.

He doesn't talk to her much anymore, just responds when she seems really emotional and sad.

I know I should be okay with the fact that he is helping her through her tough situation, but it also makes me jealous. Any advice on what to do about it?


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  • That is a very complicated situation, I've never had an experience of the sort, but I can try to give you my cents on the subject.

    You ask how do deal with her, I say don't deal with her at all. She's obviously emotionally troubled, but it might not be just from the breakup, as you mentioned her bad relationship with her parents, but could be other factors. If your boyfriend deals with her and helps her that's his choice, he shouldn't though, it's only making her "dependency" worse in my opinion. And the sooner she loses contact and finds someone else, the better for everyone.

    Involving yourself could prove to make it even worse, she could flip or become more emotionally unstable, leading to more "dependency" and more desperate acts than to try to reach out by text. If she really has very deep problems, it's not your boyfriends responsibility to become her personal psychologist, and she should go out, make good friends, and find someone who is willing to help her and doesn't hurt their relationships doing it.
    Hope it helped, cheers

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