How to move on?

So for the few of you who have seen my previous questions, you know I had strong feelings, unfortunately for my friends with benefits. Well today, I ended things with him. It was hurting me too much knowing I'd never be more than a friend. And I'm crying here like a baby, since this is my first real heart break (we made it 1 year this past Saturday, having this fucked up "relationship") and I'm wondering, what have you done to help you move on?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think to come to that realization and end it the way you did is incredibly mature of you. I'm sorry you're dealing with all the emotions that come with it and there's really no heartbreak cure unfortunately. Just allow yourself to feel what you're feeling because your emotions are totally valid and try to understand that it won't last forever. It's not really great advice but if anything, you probably know now what types of things you need in a serious relationship so you can look at it as a growing experience. When the time is right you'll meet someone who will want to be with you just as much as you want to be with them. It's hard to see that now and maybe you don't want to think about anyone else, but the relationship that you deserve will come to you. In the meantime surround yourself with good people and the things you enjoy. That always helped me (:

    • I think that's really good advice. Any kinds words you can give to someone, when they are going through bad times, does have valid impact on them. If it's kind words, that consider it good advice.

    • Thank you, your advice is also incredibly helpful and I am definitely trying my best to take it all one step at a time. Thanks for understanding :)

    • You're welcome hun <3 I've been right where you are and know what you're dealing with. Your happiness is important and little by little you will get that back. Take all the time you need to feel better, there's no time limit on a broken heart.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Know that you will get hurt if you're in a relationship. There is no perfect person without flaws. Even a well-intended guy is going to hurt his partner. He's going to hurt your feelings. He's going to say things that you don't want him to say. He's going to do things you wish he wouldn't do and not do things you wish he would do. A relationship is an imperfect union between two willing spirits who say, ''I'd rather be in a relationship and share my life, share my joys, share my fun, share my activities, share my life than do it alone." If you want to be in a relationship, know that getting hurt comes with the territory. You just have to decide that you are durable enough, that you have enough confidence in yourself that you can handle it.

    Don't invest more than you can afford to lose. While it's important to move forward, you need to take things one step at a time. Don't put so much out there that you'll be emotionally bankrupt if things go south.

    Don't beat yourself up. You got through your last experience, you've learned from it, and now it's time to move forward You'll move on and be a champion in your next endeavor as you did in your past... Life is not a success-only journey. You are going to get beat up along the way."

    forgiveness is what you do for yourself, not for other people. When you forgive, it doesn't mean that you approve of what's happened. Rather, it means that you're giving yourself permission to move on with your life.

    Forgiveness is a choice. Don't wait for it to just wash over you all of a sudden. You have to choose it.

    Don't give your power away. The pain of what happened is inevitable, but continuing to suffer is optional. The only person you can control is you. By constantly reliving the pain of what happened, you are giving your power away to the person who wronged you.

    • For others, it takes time and effort. You may have here is no right timeline for recovery. For some people, making peace happens suddenly and spontaneously. For others, it takes time and effort. You may have to make a conscious effort every day to forgive. To say, "I'm letting this go. I'm not going to invest hatred, bitterness, anger, resentment in this person anymore." You can find closure in forgiveness.

      You can't change the things that happened in your life, but you can decide how you interpret and respond to them. If you didn't receive support when you needed it, give it to yourself now.

    • This made me cry, but because I think it's so true. Thank you for your help, I truly appreciate the wise advice

    • No problem good luck. Glad to be of help.

  • There's not much except you now start a new chapter in your life. You've also learned a lesson about fwb's relationships.


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