Is it cold feet or what just happened?

My fiancé recently broke off our engagement. We didn't really fight before that except a few wedding disagreements like the food we would be serving, seating arrangements and other things that are pretty minor. Two months from now would have been our wedding... We have been together for as long as I could remember probably since freshman year of high school. His parents didn't approve of me because I can be quite bossy and loud. I was so confused when he brought it up over dinner when he came from work saying he wasn't sure anymore. And how he was sorry but couldn't do it anymore. He left upstairs and started packing. It's been days since I've heard from him. He's been coming in the house to pick up his things when I'm not there and I dont have a problem with that. I've been doing my own investigation and started talking to his brothers and his friends. His brother said he started acting different for a few months saying how he was over protective over his phone and stopped defending me from his parents. His friend that he's crashing with says he started seeing this other girl he met. They were good friends in freshman year of college. He knows I hated her and was jealous of her. He cheated on me once with her saying they slept together so he distanced himself. Her brother started working at his work and that's how they met up again. He said he told him that he felt happier. This sh*t hurts... I told him he could tell me if he wasn't happy anymore because a year ago I felt like he was lacking interest. We took a break and he came back weeks later. I feel like it's cause I don't want sex before marriage and I'm bigger. Do you think he'll come back or he just got cold feet and freaked out?): (I'm turning 25 in a few weeks...)


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  • My guess is it was a combination of things.
    Marrying your high school sweetheart is a very romantic thought, but I can also see how he now could feel like he is not ready to commit his life to you.
    Sometimes it takes time to understand certain things.
    I don't think he will be coming back, I'm sure he has been thinking about this for some time and wouldn't have taken this drastic step if he wasn't completely sure.
    I am sorry, I know you must be hurting like hell and this is the last thing you want to hear :-(

    • Definitely something I didn't want to hear... I dont know how to move on since I've been faithful and never really got to experience dating. I've done so much for him and he just moved on so quickly...

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    • What do you mean by emotional process?

    • The process that starts when it becomes clear that there is something wrong. One might start to realize that "the plan" is not really working and starts to analize feelings and pro and cons in order to work towards taking a difficult decision.
      it also take some time do admit to oneself that a decision has to be taken sooner that later.
      I am telling you out of my own experience with divorce. It took me a long time to even admit to myself that it wasn't working and then having the courage to actually leave. there is always this doubt "what if I am making a mistake and will regret it later"
      there comes a point when it becomes clear and one is ok with the consequences.

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