He told me he'd never get over me?

I broke up with my fiancé of 6 years saying I just wanted space and needed time since I felt I was losing myself. He always told me he couldn't imagine being with anyone else and begged me to take him back, also saying he'd wait for me since I just needed time.

But I found out two months later that he had started seeing someone, and someone that he used to talk about a lot when we were together. I know he didn't cheat on me, but for some reason I feel hurt about it.

Why do I feel this way? Especially as I am now with someone else and was the one who broke up the relationship in the first place. I'm confused.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Fiance of 6 years? That alone would have been an eye opener for me. Usually people plan their wedding after proposal. But it seems as if he had no hopes of ever following through.
    BIG red sign for me.

    You probably feel that because you wanted his original words to be true. You wanted him to wait for you. You wanted to feel as if you had significant importance in his life (whether you took him back or not). Instead he quickly moved on as if you and him never happened.
    Feeling as if you are easily forgotten would hurt anyone. Especially , when you spent six years of your life trying to build something meaningful.

    • got together when I was 17. Engaged at 18 and things just never happened, as much as I wanted them too, he was never 'ready'. He kept saying he wanted to get a job and house first, but made no attempt at it even when I found places I wanted to live and asked to see and when he was working all the money he made would go on things for him rather than in saving for somewhere or the wedding. Then he went on holiday without even inviting me and I realised I weren't happy in the time he was away. I gave my everything to him and always sacrificed my wants and wishes (I wanted children, but he didn't). I felt like he never gave me anything in return, as if him just being with me was enough.

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    • Was that the best insult you could up with? Since you couldn't tag me three times don't bother responding? As lame as your answer.
      I could careless what you think.
      She was ready for something he wasn't which she explained to me.
      Him never going through with the marriage was a symbol of his commitment in their relationship.
      No one is being blamed.
      His actions are just being pointed out.
      Continue learning to read women... you have a ways to go !

    • @zorro8888 I was a teenager when we got together, and my first love. Also neither of us wanted kids when I was 18. I was still thinking about things like education. I took the engagement seriously, but as the years passed there was no talk of marriage. With each step I attempted to make at moving forward in the relationship I just ended up being disappointed. He also expected me to make sacrifice, but make none himself. At the time I wanted it to work but after 6 years I was tired of waiting for him. My life was going by and all I was doing was trying to make him happy by making myself unhappy in the process. In the end I made the decision to break off the engagement since it wasn't going anywhere. What do you suggest I do otherwise?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • i guess you're still into him then.. yet you don't know it ;-)

  • You have no right to feel hurt he does


What Girls Said 3

  • So you broke up with him, and he moved on and you're upset? Smh

    • I asked him for space. I was 17 when I met him and was no longer the same girl I was when we got engaged. Then cracks started to show and I felt rather than be in an unhappy relationship I'd finish it. But I still loved him. I just needed time to figure out who I was outside of a relationship in order to go back to being in one.

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    • I didn't expect him to wait around, but I expected the time we had together would be worth more than less than 60 days getting over.

    • You don't know that it didn't. This could be his way of moving on. Or expressing his hurt. Put yourself into his shoes for a couple of seconds.

  • Okie from all the comments i've read and how he never really took the engagement or the relationship seriously i feel like you should of ended it much sooner, after 3 years of being engaged but no sign of him actually tieing the knot with you it's clear he never really wanted to, clearly since he moved on with a girl he kept talking about so quickly he never really cared about you, i think a part of him always had the hots for that other girl, perhaps this is why he never tied the knot with you? perhaps he was just waiting until you broke things off so he could finally get with her? which would definitely be incredibly horrible and he should of been honest if he loves that girl more than letting things go on for so long... If i were you i would of stopped him on the 2nd or 3rd time he mentions the girl and ask him why he's even talking about other girls around me lol. That alone is a red flag and that his horrizons are else where...

  • You just love the fact that he worshiped the ground you walked on and even after you left him you were still satisfied with the fact that you left a lasting affect. It's an ego boost for you, but this new information may have rocked your world and you are questioning whether you were special after all. That's one view, which may be coming from a place of narcissism and selfishness.

    The other view, might be that you are still in love with him and you are realising that you may have made a mistake.

    Whatever you do, don't play with him, figure out what's the deal and do what you have to do.

    • It was actually the opposite. I never felt special in any way. I couldn't accept it whenever he paid me compliments as I lack self confidence and self esteem. I'm noone special or interesting or 'attractive'. I hated the fact my ex would 'put me on a pedestal' so to speak because I didn't belong there. I'd look at other girls and think things like 'he'd rather be with her' or 'I'm not good enough for him'. I still do that with my current boyfriend. I just don't think I am someone who deserves to be loved.

    • You need to change that attitude, you need to love yourself and forget about him. Just cos he is interested in someone else doesn't mean everything he felt for you was fake, it's just that he bounces back faster than you. He has an easier approach to life than you, he knows that he cannot pine after you forever since it's emotionally and mentally harmful for him. He has realised that he needs to move on and that's what he's trying to do which is moving on. Start working on yourself by booking yourself with a counsellor, I have a feeling you have unresolved issues which you need to address. Indulge in self help books and good luck!!

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