Do I just wait?

I was seeing a guy for six mints, seven months ago. We had known one another for 17 years... although not particularly been in one another's lives. The relationship was up and down... great at first bit then mared with long discussions, mainly due to us getting together soon after an awful relationship of mine and his job taking me away for long periods. We decided to break up... because I wanted more And because he was confused by what he wanted.

He worked away for three months and I suggested no contact. .. to allow space for friendship on his return. He messaged. .. liked things on Facebook and generally still seemed to be there. I did replied politely to two messages.

He returned and did the same... but it was sporadic and while I was replying normally it was breaking me. I felt some of his messages were flirty... calling me by my nickname. .. putting two kisses. So I stopped replying.. I hoped that by doing so he would miss me and step up.

A month went by and I wasn't over him... I seemed to be hurting more... so I messaged him casually.. We messaged for a bit and he started to 'flirt' again. I asked him if that was what he was doing and he said he missed us and felt excited hearing from me but if he was flirting he would be texting more and asking me out. I declined his offer of friendship and we exchanged possessions via post. There were a few messages in and amongst but nothing major... strangely he sent the parcel with my nickname on... Instead of my real one... and asked if I'd noticed. (?)

Over the days that followed I deleted Facebook and instragram and removed him from my phone. .. I'm trying to move on... joined a gym, planning a house move, but emotionally I am really struggling... I don't feel like it's over and am really hurting... I feel a bit obsessed with it all.

Can I ask... what on earth... is this as confusing as it seems... any tips? And do I sound to have dealt with it ok? 😊

Updates:
Hi... I'm not a lover of social networking and had been considering feleting anyway... but equally I found it too hard... he was popping up left right and centre and it was just hurting too much.

I just wanted time for me... I thought it might help me heal.

I do actually feel better without it... I was never a lover.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You've dealt with it terribly. Deleting Facebook etc and moving? Like... why?

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    • Apologies... I replied above...

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    • Ok. I thought it was all because of him. I'm not really a fan of Facebook either to be honest.
      It's good for the odd funny video someone posts but apart from that...

    • Same... and after a break up the last thing I needed. Life's nicer without it! :)

What Girls Said 1

  • Sorry for your situation as it doesn't sound easy.

    However, you pushed for too much, too soon. He told you that he was confused about what he wanted and you wanted to define everything and have it sorted & settled. The fact remains that he will continue to confuse your emotions as he is not sure about what he wants and he is testing the strength of your feelings by calling you by your nickname, etc. And you are testing him by suggesting no contact, etc.

    I think you got so heavily into this due to your last relationship ending so badly and you were at a vulnerable point in your life. Did this guy fill an emotional void?

    It's not as confusing as it seems as it's not a relationship of equals and I think you are better off apart as it will only get worse - you wanting more and him hesitating.

    Good for you for joining the gym as you need to meet other people and do other things.

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    • That's really helpful and I agree... maybe that's why I feel so sore about it. I guess I felt like he was keeping me hanging... and it was hard to be with that...

      Thanks for your opinon.

      It's crazy because I just don't seem to be able to accept that it's over. .. keep waiting for that next message. .. or maybe even a call. Is that busts break up stuff?

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