My ex told me Im not good enough for him, and now I can't get that out of my head?

My ex was a different religion to me, and one day after talking after we broke up, he said to me he will never get back with me because I am not his religion, I will never be good enough for him etc etc. This really hurt my feelings naturally. (This happened about 6 months ago, I haven't spoken to him since).
I recently met up with a mutual friend of ours who told me that my ex still asks how I am doing. On the face of it, my life has improved dramatically, I have a new and much better job, I have better friends etc even my appearance has changed haha. I've just moulded into a different woman. But sometimes, I think about my ex and what he said to me. Now this dude is a bum, he still works the same job in a supermarket, doesn't want to improve himself and he is much older than me. I just get un confident sometimes.

I know I shouldn't feel this way, because if anything he isn't good enough for me.
But I just have questions,
why would he ask about me after all this time?
How can I build up myself again? I really did love him at one point, I would never take him back but I just wondered if he will apologise or something. I dont miss him. I just wonder..


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are 110% right to say he's a jerk and to stay away from him. Maybe he's asking so he can know if you've moved on or just as a general point of interest between him and the mutual friend.

    Honestly he doesn't sound like a guy who would apologize or if he did he's just using it as a way to manipulate you into taking him back.

    It sucks how some things stick with us even though we know that there's no way they're true. I think you sound like a very awesome lady regardless of what jerky mcjerkface has to say about it. Maybe any time you feel negative about yourself you can remind yourself of a positive trait. Like "look how cute my nails are!" "Wow I was so smart to put this on my shopping list!" "I did a fantastic job cleaning the kitchen. Look at the shine!"

    Hopefully reminding yourself of so many good things will help you remember how awesome you are instead of how scummy your ex is. Yay positivity!

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    • Thank you. This helped me feel a little bit more positive :). I am going to try as hard as I can to stick to this advice.

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    • The mind is a crazy thing. Don't beat yourself up about it. I had this one person whom I positively *abhor* but some of the things they said to me still circle in my head. Now I love every opportunity I get to prove them wrong, but it's still there. I just refuse to let them win and enjoy doing the things they said I couldn't even more >:D

    • Aww much better thank you. This is what I am going for, so thank you x

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What Guys Said 2

  • Is it rude or is he just making you aware of what he's looking for? Not sure why you would take this offensive.
    you're not appealed to every guy out there so why is it shocking that he isn't appealed to you?

    Time to move on

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  • Oh well? T_T

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    • wasn't helpful

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    • See that's what you don't get. I am not here to look for that. I just wondered if there are positive things I can do to feel better. I am aware it will get better in time.

    • There isn't. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not in a week. Not in a month. But that's okay. And that's the thing; you are looking for stop gaps and pain killers but you will find none suitable for this. You'll have others who will give you "suggestions". Good luck to you in your search for ambrosia.

What Girls Said 1

  • He's an ex for a reason. Don't let him get to you. He's not good enough for you

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