How does someone just fall out of love?

My ex and I had been dating for 1+ years and during most of that time, he definitely did love me. But a few weeks ago, he broke up with me, and one of the reasons among many was that he fell out of love. How can you just go from loving someone so much to falling out of love with that person? Yes, we had our good deal of little fights over stupid things and some slight long distance (because we go to the same college but we live across the country from each other normally), but overall, I was still so happy and didn't really see it coming.

I'm doing okay now, although I still miss having someone to cuddle with and etc. But I don't think I miss our actual relationship anymore. We also both said while dating that if we ever broke up, we would still want to be friends since he was my best friend before we started dating. How can we get back to friendship?

It's also awkward because we live on the same floor of the same dorm and have the same friend group, so I seem him all the time but we are so awkward around each other.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Men generally need a reason to fall out of love, unlike women.
    A woman mostly falls out of love because of this www.macleans.ca/culture/books/the-two-year-itch/
    It's purely a reaction to body chemicals, and there's nothing she can do about it.

    There probably are reasons that he's just not telling you about. He may not even be consciously aware of what those reasons are. It's more likely to the cumulative effect of many small things, rather than just one big reason. How was your sex life before the breakup? Were you getting it on most days of the week? If not, who was doing the rejecting?

    If you want to be friends or even lovers with him again, I suggest you read this:
    cdn.preterhuman.net/.../...20Love%20with%20You.PDF
    You may find things in there that were driving him away.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes the flame just dies out. The person you know becomes the person you knew. My ex and I fell out of love with each other. Mainly because I was the only one trying and he was doing nothing. It was all great for a while until I barely saw him and that's when it just went down hill. Communication and everything just started to die down and I just knew he and I were not going to last very long. Sometimes the feelings you had for that person just die out. Or maybe someone cheated, etc who knows. I mean you can only try so much in a relationship that it just dies down and its best to just leave it broken. Same thing happened to me when my ex broke up with me out of the blue I didn't really see it coming but I just had to except what is and what isn't. That's kind of difficult to do, being friends with an ex I don't recommend. You get your hopes up for no reason and plus it doesn't really solve anything. I never understood how exes could be friends, I tried being friends with my ex. It just made everything awkward and I just moved on with my life. I mean you can try if you want, but it probably won't go anywhere. I can see how that is awkward. My ex and i go to the same high school together all we do is make awkward eye contact but I just act like I don't see him. I can understand how awkward that is.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think there are many factors that cause a person to fall out of love and most of them are out of our own control.

    We are all evolving people, so feelings, thoughts, desires... everything about us changes.

    Have you told him that you simply want to be friends with him? Perhaps, that will be just enough to help transition during this period of change.

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  • Sometimes two perfect people aren't perfect for each other. So, I guess it's okay if both the parties are okay with the decision. It is okay if you wanna be friends with him again but do remember that memories just hit like a wrecking ball on the face. that'd just make things uncomfortable for the both of you. My suggestion, exes cannot be friends no matter how open minded they are.

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