When you and your ex frequent the same places, how to deal with this situation?

I just broke up with my boyfriend. We frequent the same places but I want nothing to do with him. I've been working on avoiding him and I succeeded but it seems he's not trying to avoid me, on the opposite he's more often in my way even though he can avoid me.
I tried as much as I can to change my schedule to avoid him but I can't change all my life to do so. It seems I'm the only one who's making the effort.
what would you do in this situation?
do you avoid the person? do you stay in the way and purpose and not acknowledge the person in any how. I don't even know what the implications are.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • My ex and I go to high school together. We weren't really friends to begin with when we first started dating. We just decided to go out anyways. He and I go to the same school the way I deal with the situation is I act like I don't see him or just act like he's invisible. I mean I know it sounds harsh but he ended it with me, we tried the whole friendship thing but its kind of difficult to be friends with an ex when you two never go to be friends in the first place. So yeah we don't talk at all we just act invisible to each other. If he says hi to me then I'll say hi. But I will not go over and talk to him its just awkward and weird. We never started off as friends so trying to build a friendship when we were never friends is difficult for him and I. He used to stare at me a lot but he doesn't do that anymore.

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    • yeah i've been acting as if he's invisible. it's easy when you stop liking/respecting the person

    • Yes it is easy, that's what helped me get over mine. My mom gave me that advice actually and it helped me out so so much.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think you almost have to confront the situation in order to put your break up in clear terms. In other words.
    if you see him. Dont avoid him. Just continue your show as planned

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    • we've already broken up. I offered my friendship, during the total process he was unresponsive as if he's rejecting the whole break up thing and my friendship offer. I'm sick of his behavior. so continue my show as planned and not acknowledge his presence?

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    • i think you're right, it's my mistake unintentionally. we remained in the grey area because i was trying to treat him like a human being. what i should 've done is just ignore him without giving reasons.
      I don't expect anything from him. I was just trying to be civil during break up. I was really ok to be friends with him, I'm also ok with us avoiding/ignoring each other. I just needed him to decide what he wants so I can respect his wishes and act accordingly. he can feel the way he want's but when it's only normal to expect that you behave according to how u feel. I've always acted according to how i felt, him on the other hand he doesn't fucking know what he wants, he's just a baby.

      How do I be firm and fess up to your mistake of asking for friendship? I don't want to talk to him anymore, we were done long time ago. I just wanted to know what's the best way to deal with having to be in the same space with an ex...

    • I just wanted to know what's the best way to deal with having to be in the same space with an ex... how to respect his space and his feelings, without unintentionally implying something I don't mean to imply?

  • You still care so you try to avoid him. Maybe he doesn't try to avoid you bc he honestly doesn't care that much.

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    • no he stares at me because he's still in love with me. it's irritating me that's he's starring at me.

    • How do you know he still loves you? You shouldn't care at all. Pretend as if he doesn't exist

    • because he's my ex and I know how he thinks. That's what I've done for the past few months, pretended he doesn't exist. I kept my routine, he wasn't aware of my routine. so we could be in the same place but he won't know we are because I try to respect his space and not to intrude on his space bc I could manage that unless we accidentally run into each other. recently since he found out my routine he started going out of his way just to be there. why I know that. because I knew his old routine. any other questions?

What Girls Said 2

  • I had a situation where I had to be around an ex a lot. Fortunately our break up wasn't bad. At first it was so awkward and we kind of tried the whole ignoring thing. But after a while I thought "this is stupid! We're both adults and we used to be friends. I want to be comfortable going wherever I want"
    So I started saying hello and just treating him like I would any other human. He was so nervous at first but eventually we become friends again.

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    • did you break up with him? I tried to be civil, I tried the friendship thing, it didnot work. I gave up on him as a human being. I just want nothing to do with him. the options are I could not look his way at all, totally avoid him. or I could look him in the eye and pretend I'm looking into a strangers eye.

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    • thank you that was my plan. to look him in the eye like a stranger. I've already passed by him like a stranger 2 times. haven't looked him in the eye bc I don't want him to think else. I'm over him, I think he's an idiot now, so it won't be hard.
      wow how do you deal with that? it's hard of you still have to deal with his family.

    • At first it was weird but they're all really nice people and I'm friends with him again now so it's all good.

  • Ah! The terrible conjoined meeting places situation. You've had a past with this person and at one point or another you were happy with each other! I say don't try to avoid them, If you see them say hello or nod your head! Having a relationship with someone is special, and even if it's over doesn't mean you don't pretend to know them. The clear rule here is called Boundaries. If you feel he is going out of his way to talk to you make it clear and honest with him.
    "Hey so and so, I appreciate all the times we had together and they were really nice, but I want to make it clear that our relationship ended for a reason and I really want you to respect that!"

    Just because a relationship ends, gives no one any excuse to be nice or friendly, its positive for you, for them and sends good energies out into the world. You will find being relaxed in every situation better then pretending you don't know someone you've had a connection with!

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    • believe me that's what I've tried to do, my relationship with him was special to me and I tried to end things neatly but I guess his feelings off being rejected stood in the way and I refuse the way he treated me while I was trying to be respectful to him. I don't want anything to do with him anymore. We're past the stage of being civil to each other. I just want to know how not to mess up my own routine without implying or giving him hope that i still frequent the same places because of him.

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