HELP- He told me he loved me and now suddenly we're supposed to be 'just friends'?

I started dating at the beginning of March. We met through online dating and spoke for a few weeks. I was very nervous about meeting a stranger so we discussed a lot of different topics earlier. I shared about my home situation, health etc. and over time I grew to trust him. But fear would occasionally creep in and I contemplated ending it. He's is eighteen and I'm twenty.

Anyway, so we talk on the phone and organised a date. I was aware that his ex-girlfriend had really hurt him when she cheated on him. And I made a sincere promise to be honest, trustworthy and someone he could rely on. He told me he loved me and I asked how he knew. He explained that love wasn't a game to him, that if he said it he meant it, and he gained my trust. I hadn't yet said it because I wanted to be certain of my feelings.

We ended up meeting earlier than planned and spent the day in the local park. He kissed my head, we sat on the grounds cuddling, and talking. But he respected my boundaries and always asked about how comfortable I was.

On the second date, he brought lunch and we ate in the city, by the water. We talked and laughed. He ended up kissing me for the first time. He was always complimenting me, saying how beautiful I was, that I was cute. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. We strolled back to the train station holding hands and I gave him a peck, and accidentally said "Love you, miss you, bye." I thought I saw his face drop.

He sent me a message later and seemed off. Told me he talk to me in the morning, which I already knew what he'd say. The next morning he sent me a message saying that it had been an amazing day and he loved being with me, But thoughts of his ex still haunt him. And that he's not ready for a relationship. That he was crying while writing it.

I wrote him back today, Told him I loved him and he says he wants to be friends, he doesn't have time for a gf. And he still isn't over what his ex did.

Sorry this is so long, but help!
I'm just confuse why it was okay for him to say it, but it's not okay for me to?
He says isn't not because I said I loved him. He's just said stuff, then backed off, and hurt me. So he's too scared to talk to me because he's hurt me.


Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You pushed too hard. Girls here are asking all the time how girls come off as creepy, this is how. Guys run scared from the words "I Love You" spoken too soon as well as anything about marriage or kids before the time is right.

    How do you recover? I'm not sure you can, you pushed a button and he's running for cover. Certainly agree to just be friends for now, tell him that you respect his space and enjoy hanging with him and don't want to screw that up. You do NOT want to initiate anything sexual for a WHILE, not even a kiss on the cheek. AND DO NOT SAY THOSE THREE WORDS AGAIN for at least 5 dates!

    Good luck to you

    • Thank you for your advice. Do I apologise or do I just leave it?

      I actually didn't even mean to say it the first time..

    • Don't apologize it will just make it worse.

    • Okay well thank you. :)

What Girls Said 1

  • You scared him when you told him you love him so early on. He us probably still getting over his heartbreak and can't stand the thought of another


Recommended myTakes