Is this the best way to breakup?

Hey so I've been dating this chick for over a year and I want to break up with the least possible way of me being a total jerk. I was thinking of saying something like "i care avout you a lot, but I just dont feel a connection ljke we used to have. And I feel that I have no time for a serious relationship and thats not fair to you, ans id like to beak up


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I just answered something similar to a Question like yours here, dear, and simply told the guy to talk to her face to face and lay it on the line That------I want to break up.
    Be more subtle, more caring and diplomatic when you go about this. You have all the moves and grooves in what you want to say. However, being with this 'Chick for over a year,' I believe you should Word it so she doesn't balk and squawk right in front of you and it turns into a Huge fight.
    She is a sensitive teen who most likely has feelings for you after all this time. Tell her you really have liked her and cared about her but you are not ready for a serious relationship right now and that it is not fair to her when she is a good catch for some other guy. Tell her you feel you think it is best that you both break up and go your own ways but you hope you can still be friends, if that it is okay..
    Good luck. xx

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    • Thank you, sweetie, for allowing me to lend a helping hand.. I hope everything goes or Went okay.:)) xxoo

    • Thanks so much.. and it went alright I guess. She was bawling of course, but she wanted a specific reason ans I couldnt give one because there are none. Thanks so much.

    • Oh, so welcome, sweetie, and I am sad she was 'Bawling,' and yes... even with a guy with myself is... WHY? I hope she is okay and you did the right thing and with your honesty, move on and hopefully you both can be at least friends. xxoo

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What Girls Said 18

  • The best way to break up is to tell her exactly what's on your mind while telling her. If you come off as a jerk, I don't think it matters unless you still want to be friends with her. Just rip the band-aid off. Being exactly true on your reasons isn't being jerk-like... it's only jerk-like if you add insults.

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  • Whatever you do, do it to her face. There is nothing more insulting than a text message after a long time together.

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  • Be up front. Just leave it at you don't have the time for a relationship right now. Assure her it had nothing to do with anyone else. But I've found even when u say "I care a lot about you" ... it may make her upset -- because she'll be hurt.

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  • Just be honest without being harsh. break ups suck anyway, so you can't take the pain away from it, it's gonna sting, but just be civil about it and dont lead her on.

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  • Sounds good

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  • I think it's a good way to do it! As long as it is done in person :P

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  • just tell her the pure truth, it might hurt, but dont soothe with a lie, for HER it is easier if you tell her the entire truth, not half, but the full truth. cause most girls, always go around and wonder "why why why why" about everything specially if the man haven't been entirely honest, fx my old ex broke up with me cause he in fact had been cheating on me, and didn't dared to tell me the truth, so he said " i still love you, but we can't be together" - that hurted more, until i found out he had cheated, then i didn't gave a flying f*** ;)

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  • There is nothing you can say that will make it easier for her if she's really into you. What you can do is be firm and tell the truth. Once you have decided to do it, let her go completely so she can find someone else who can give the time energy and love she deserves.

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  • Maybe you should be 100 percent honest and tell her you would rather be single than in a relationship but the dilemma is that she might think you wanna be with someone else. If this is not true reassure her that is not the case and you need some time to figure out what you want.

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  • I dono I'd rather a guy be a jerk about it because then he's not giving me any false hope. You saying you "have no time for relationships" is going to make her believe you still love her and will want her back someday.

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  • don't say its not fair to you, say not fair to both of us that way it will not seem like you saying "its not you, its me".

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  • Being honest and face to face, the best and correct way, well it is for me.

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  • Maybe you should word it differently but as long as you say it to her face things should be okay.

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  • the same old "i care about you but..." just be honest, we don't like it when guys beat around the bush. She will be hurt, but its better to know the truth.

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  • You just have to be true to yourself. Try to say something that the girl will understand and make her contented.

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  • Be firm about your decision, don't say anything unkind, and don't stay around to be friend with her to prolong her healing. Tell her that you are sorry but you have made up your mind and tell her that you will cut all contact with her to help both of you move on faster and do follow through with your actions. Don't be wishy washy, be firm but kind and follow up with consistent actions.

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  • Be honest, nice, and don't make it sound like it's her fault, make her feel bad. It could be better face to face even though that could feel more nerveracking. And don't let there be any problems. Be understanding of how she feels and reacts. But no problems. Of course it will probably take time to get over it. And over a year is longer so it might take longer/be harder to get better.

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  • I think that sounds good. Just make sure that she realizes that even if you had time, you still wouldn't want to be with her. I think the "I don't have time right now" part could give her a glimmer of hope. I'm glad you don't wanna be a jerk, though!

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What Guys Said 4

  • Just be honest about the connection not being there anymore, saying you have no time for a serious relationship is rubbing salt on the wounds if you start seeing someone else soon after, just be honest

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  • yeah i agreebasically... that sounds a relaly good way to tell her ;-)

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  • There's no good way to break up with someone, but there is an appropriate way to. Just tell her how you feel.

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  • no boy u did a mistake.
    You should have been more respectful to someone even if she is your ex.

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