When is it time to break up?

I am 17. My boyfriend is 20. I have been with him for 3 years and was planning on moving in with him for college as the campus is just right there ( we live a hour apart) when I do see him which is every Saturday, we either stay home kick back and watch movies or go out for dinner but bottom line is we are always entertained and happy with each others company. My boyfriend has always been very upfront with me about everything. A couple months into our relationship, he cheated on me but I was so young and moved past it... Alcohol was involved and as I'm getting older ( I KNOW IM STILL YOUNG) I am looking for something more serious... We have been serious for awhile, maybe the last year about each other & there's all this talk of our future and things.. My whole family loves him, he is an ideal man! However, the Saturday that just past, I went to my best friends house for a sleepover to catch up and he said he was going to the club so I was okay with that idc cause I trust him. I called him around 10, no answer, 11, no answer and 12 no answer. On the following day, he sent me a text and said " I fucked up" he never got into detail about it but yeah... He cheated once again. He admitted to me when he drinks he's not himself and all this and took full responsibility for it but, he only told me half the story and he's telling me the full story today. Should I just break up with him and end it? Or stay with him?... I am hurt and my appetite is completely gone as I haven't ate since yesterday morning & the thought of being without him hurts but I know my self worth... I just want some other input on this... Should I give it a couple days? And try and cool off or what? Please help.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The minute you start asking the question on when you should break up is when you should break up


Most Helpful Girl

  • At this point, what makes you think he won't cheat AGAIN? You know what they say, third time's a charm. He's already proven he's not the exception to 'once a cheater, always a cheater'.

    If you're okay having a 'relationship' with someone who can't grasp the idea of monogamy, by all means feel free to stay. Why would he not cheat again though, considering he's already done it twice with not much more than a slap on the wrist?

    With me, there'd be no room for 'cooling off' or reconsidering. Can you give any valid defenses for a partner cheating? No excuses, whether there was alcohol involved, intoxication of any sort, the other person flirting and your partner felt bad turning them down (wtf? I've heard that one a LOT from some of my friends) can justify betraying your trust, one of the key components of a successful relationship.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • You know the phrase "Once a cheater aways a cheater "? Well I know this doesn't always occur and that there are exceptions as well. However most people who cheat tend to do it more than once. There will or will not be an excuse but the did will be done. What do you do? You either stay and lie to yourself that the person you so much love, will change and that everything will be fine. Or you leave and face the ugly truth. But at least you're honest with yourself...

  • when is it time to break up?

    NOW, now is the time. He has already cheated on you twice. What makes you think he won't do it a third time given that he has gotten away with it before?

    You think that once you live with him that won't happen again? It can happen any time, any where. He will go out with friends again and probably get himself in a sticky situation again. Especially if he looses control when drunk.

    Let him have his crazy college times, and let yourself be happy too. Life is to short to be worrying about what the boyfriend is doing because he can't be trusted.


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