Have an opinion?
I voted no. I'm an extremely shy guy, and I know that girls usually don't go for guys like me; they tend to like confidence, smoothness and willingness to make moves. On some level you do have to have those qualities to be successful with women. But I voted no because sometimes you can make shyness work in your favor:1. You can use it to be a little "mysterious", which many girls seem to like. It can make them wonder a little bit about you, keep them on their toes, and keep them thinking, "does he like me"? That makes you interesting, as long as you DO reveal little bits of yourself slowly, and force yourself to be a little bold at times, so that you don't come across as boring or completely uninterested in her.2. A small population of girls prefer the "shy" type over the outgoing "player" type, because they find that shy guys are usually more sincere and authentic about their feelings and interested in more than just sex.3. You can use it to motivate yourself to get better and better. You can make it a goal to overcome your shyness little by little by taking initiative and forcing yourself to do things that are out of your comfort zone, like approaching women, asking a girl for her number, holding a girl's hand, kissing her, etc. When you realize that girls are human just like you (sometimes even more nervous than you are) and that these things ARE possible for you to do, your confidence will start to grow and flourish.
Very nicely put.
Any more, I don't know what "shy" means. Are we saying that you sometimes don't approach girls you're interested in, or that you have no social skills?I think for guys your age, you feel an expectation to be out all the time talking to every girl that comes along. That's not the opposite of shy. I thought (and was told by my family) I was shy all the way until mid my-20s, but all of the dozens of friends I've met for a number of years scoff at the idea that I am. Maybe you're the same way.I don't mean to get off topic, but I think a straight "yes/no" answer is tough. Some girls, including 1 or 2 here, love the guy who is shouting and BSing with everyone and who is very boisterous and outgoing. I know guys like this, and they might be pleasant to hang out with, but they are seldom capable of deep relationships and are oftentimes complete jerks. So don't feel bad if you meet a girl who thinks if you're not a smooth player, that you're dirt. If you are capable of talking to girls but need a push in some situations, this will be helpful, as girls will feel more special rather than you just talking to everyone and they're 1 of 1000. This can be very charming. My fiance would also be classified as shy but she is a very good conversationalist and actually approached me when we first met.I know you didn't even say if this is about you, but if it is, focus on honing your approach and talking to girls who you really could like. I made the mistake of thinking I had to talk to every girl who walked by even though I wanted a certain kind of more subdued girl. Also, I know it's a bit crazy and far-fetched, but what worked for me to really come out of my shell in my early 20's, to where girls I met thereafter thought I was not a player but very sociable, was to 1) be selectively social with everyone, not just hot chics, and 2) travel overseas and talk to girls traveling there; it really feels like you're completely safe and I came back from this energized and dated a lot of girls who actually fit what I wanted.
from my own experience, I think only a shy guy that appears like he doesn't care at all is the best guy ever, girls at these times should only be ignored completely, from what I've been thru if I seem like I don't know how to approach her and I'm not dying to do so she would get interested more than ever and she will wonder what's the problem with me!once I open up to her and start loving her she loses interest, before that I was an angel, you just need to be the perfect friend and the perfect man and never get emotional or chase, because girls those days are so mean and never deserve the effort we've been making, so if they want to feel loved they have to work for it and they should know guys got a big value, we're not disposable objects.Add to that, being shy gives you a huge advantage over the majority of guys these days, because attractive girls are always being chased and bothered and everybody is doing it recently even geeks and guys that don't know how to date a girl! so please dear ones, if you want girls to appreciate you don't give them attention and keep your high value, the first sign that it shows that you're a nice and a faithful guy and you are focusing on what matters and your not a normal jerk... and last point here: not showing interest in a wanted girl and just talking to her and dealing with her on good friendship terms will make her think you do appreciate her as a human being and you appreciate her mind before you looked at her as a piece of meat or a source of your own pleasure. If you fell in love with her that way breaking up with you is going to be the worst thing she'd ever do in her life. Try it and see.
I voted yes, only because if you are too shy to show interest, the girl will never find out that you like her and probably will never try to reciprocate. This is even worse if both parties are shy. There are exceptions to the rule. It all just depends on HOW shy you are. If you are so shy that you can't even introduce yourself, chances are slim that the girl will ever like you - but then... you really wouldn't be giving her a chance to like you either. They have to know you before they like you - if you are too shy to let some one get to know you, then yes... all of your chance with the girl is ruined. If you aren't to shy to put yourself out there a little bit and at least be directed through conversation - if you are willing to let some one get to know you as you get to know them - then the answer would be no, your chances are not hurt.
No two people are the same, so the answer to your question pertains to the individuals you are talking about.I have seen women that aren't interested in dating shy guys |EQUALLY AS MUCH| as women that are so interested in shy guys, that they fall for the shy guy in seconds.There are so many fine lines with "assuming" what would work and what would not. The only thing I can tell you beyond this, is that you will learn with experience what works and what does not. Be yourself, but don't be afraid of things. You only live once and as such you should feel free in your own skin.Best regards,ArtistBBoy
Yes. I was interested in a guy in one of my classes. I tried to talk to him and make conversion but him, but he didn't have much to say. He didn't try to talk to me or anything. It's possible that he just wasn't interested in me, but he kept quiet in class for 98% of the term, so I'm gonna assume he's the shy type. Eventually, I got annoyed and lost interest in him
Shyness and lack of interest are different though.
it depends where the shyness stands and how far it goes...if you just saw each other as strangers, or just met somehow...shes not gonna know you're interested...sometimes by being shy we also come off as not interested...so its not always a good thing...but lets say you were kinda outgoing and friendly at first, you met, and know each other and stuff, talk...and then you become shy, by blushing, nervousness, etc...then she will probably will even like you more because she feels secure about the situation that you are into her and that she affects you...but you're going to have to man up one day and make a move, because most girls don't these days...some do but not most...they will reveal they like you and be obvious, hoping you notice, but they have no balls to ask a guy out...especially me! lol I'm a wuss
I love shy guys! I find their shyness endearing, and I know that they have to go to so much more effort to talk to me or ask me out etc. Although charisma can be attractive, I like the mystery that surrounds shy guys and in my experience anyway they usually turn out to be more sensitive than most.
I wish all girls were like you
I don't think it will harm the girl from not liking the guy but it might lower the chances he has with that girl. But If that guy is shy then what if that girl likes him back --and is also a tad bit shy in that since or maybe can't read his signals too well because it's not too obvious? --i mean given in that situation that may hurt the guy because the guy isn't really making much move back to ask her to the movies or like hangout or like show anything further. ...
I vote yes but only from experience have I learned my mistakes, I've let a lot of wonderful girls go because I was to shy to tell them how I felt. Years later I run into them only to be greeted with the worst message of all "I used to like you back in school but never knew if you liked me"Granted it won't hurt on every girl as we are all different.
i voted yes, confidence is the most attractive thing in someone. I was jst talkin to my mates about this the other day and I was saying that if there were 2 guys in a room and one was hot and shy and the other was pretty average looking and confident I would go for the latter because a certain amount of confidence that a guy portrays makes them more attractive. If ur a shy guy, I don't mean for you to give up hope. If you like a girl, try and act confident, even if you don't feel it...charm her and give her a few subtle compliments, don't come across too cocky tho, that can be a turn off. Its a very tricky process :o ul get the hang of it tho...shy guys are the sweetest but they jst don't get enuf attention cos they don't put themselves out there!
all shyness is does is stop you from saying what you feel. of course if your both really shy and it continues for a long period of time, then yeah it could show disinterest. just be confident! fake it til you make it! lol "act confident and you will be confident" but don't get cocky! nobody likes that! lol :)
I voted yes, but I wouldn't have said YES, I would have put it more along the lines of yeah, probably. And the reason I say that is because the shy guy doesn't put himself out there. They may go unnoticed. However, if someone gets to know them somehow, they would more than likely not write them off just because they are shy.
i don't think a guy being shy will crush his chances, but a guy who is so introverted that he cannot give a girl any sign, whatsoever, that he's interested will definitely lose the girl. shy guys have to step it up a notch 'cause they are the hardest to read.
I will have problems then.
I voted yes...but it's more of a could hurt, not would for me. Shy guys don't bother me, but when I go up to talk to a shy guy and if he doesn't even talk to me back because he's that shy, well the relationship isn't going anywhere. If a shy guy actually talks to me back, well then that's cool =]]. I tend to be a tiny bit shy myself, but when people come up and talk to me, I'll gladly talk back.
If they can't talk back its more like a disorder than just being a bit shy :D
I have to admit - you are getting into some deeper problems if the person is so afraid of social interaction they go out of their way to avoid it - you are right Xailon. That is beyond the realm of regular shyness.
yes. being shy doesn't cancel the guy out, but it definitely will hurt his chances, with me at least. because a trait that I am most attracted to it charisma.. that's what first intrigues me.
So you don't like shy guys
I do, I just notice the charismatic guys first. I was with a shyer guy before, but I noticed him because he was very attractive.
i just find the extroverted guys more attractive, the guy who is making everyone laugh and isn't afraid to approach me and chat and have a joke around. shy guys can be frustrating
not for me. I'm not incredibly open with people I'm not close to as well, you just hafta invest a little time in getting to know the person and getting them to open up.
It is more likely to hurt the chances of her knowing you like her than it is to hurt the chances that she will like you back.
How can you get to know her any ideas
It depends on the female, if she is outgoing and makes the first move to talk to the guy, then no. If she is shy and unwilling to make the first move, then yes, shyness played a factor.
Would you be wlling to ask a shy guy out?
Yes, I would and I did.
You might now know this but that really can mean a lot to a shy guy.
Thanks, I am assuming that you are a shy guy and I am a shy girl (which you probably do not think) The shy guy that I liked (he is now my ex, we dated for almost 10 months) was even shy in our relationship, the most sweetest and only he ever said to me that he loved to see my smile and he cared about me. He did not even sign his name in his Valentine's Day card to me. My advice, once you get the girl and your in a good relationship, say what is on your heart and mind to her. We broke up
Because he never let me in emotionally, which I know sounds gay, but it was true. It took him 3 weeks after we broke up to tell me finally what was on his mind, but it was too late, I was already over him. I wanted to give him a second chance, but I would not be happy and I could not be reptend I was happy anymore. Eventhough, you are shy, just be open!
Ok, that will be hard though but thanks for all the advice.
When the time comes, you can do it. Just because you are shy, does not mean you can not be open and heart felt, just believe in yourself. If you can ask this question for millions of people to see, you can tell someone you trust you feelings. You can do it
I Voted no, because I really Have A crush on Guy & he's Shy. I will prefer for him to come up to me, But Since he's shy I Really wanna go up to him and talk to him but I'm a little nervous :-/
If you are able to talk to him you should try. Sometimes guy need a little help
yes, I'm not saying that a shy guy doesn't have a chancebut a guy with confidence is more attractive
Well...CONFIDENCE...IS...ATTRACTIVE...annd always will be. :)
So shyness does hurt.?
I actually find the shyness attractive... so I guess it really depends on the girl!
What do you like about shyness out of curiosity.
Well, shy guys are usually nicer... plus shyness is cute and really endearing... it makes me feel like the guy really likes me if he has trouble talking to me etc, and then I just want to hug him... haha, but seriously, most of the guys I have ever liked were shy, and that is what has attracted me in the first place... that and how cute/handsome they were lol... but I can't really explain it... like why do you like *x characteristic* girls? I don't really know, I just know I like it. :)
i think it depends on the type of girl. for example, my boyfriend is not shy atall and I LOVE tht about him but my bestfriends boyfriend is shyy and she LOVESSS tht abt himm so I dnt really kno how to tell you. its just the type of girl
I'm crazy about a shy guy right now, and I've liked them in the past!
I hate shyness on a guy , it's not he got to be WILD ! No I hate that too..but he need to act normal ! why blushing ! lol
So no shyness
No wildness or indecent talks either.. it's creepy..be simple xD
No. I find shy guys interesting. It wouldn't cancel them out for me, as long as there were moments when I got to see the interesting parts of his personality.
Yes most girls like a guy whos sociable but a lot of others like shy guys it depends on the girl of course but yes it huts your chances only becuz the majority like charasmatic boys.
its easier to like a guy when he makes the first move and shy guys usually don't
from experience m telling you...SHYNESS Does kill the chances between a guy and a girl.
I voted yes from experience and I'm normally extraverted but sometimes I get shy and when I do its like I don't exist.
I personally would want a guy to come out and tell me that he liked me. Though I wouldn't just not date him because he's shy.
no, of course not :)but it'd be pretty hard for you to like each other if you were both to shy to approach each other, try and not be too shy or you won't meet anyone... but in general, no.
nobut since I'm shy myself conversation wouldn't be good depends on how shy you are :P I think its attractive
Shy guys are hot.Oh btw. Dr. Who rocks!
Are you serious?
Why wouldn't I be serious?
I just have never met a girl who actually has liked me. I hate being shy.
Lol well, I don't know I've always like shy guys over the other guys. I used to be so shy that I couldn't even go to the store alont and I hated it so I know how most shy people feel.
I wish all girls were like you?
Yes my friend...goodluck.
yes, it could
IT could or it will.
Could due to lack of confidence is a turn off to many if not all
You cannot undo this action. The opinion owner is going to be notified and earn 7 XPER points.