Ex bf is having harder time w breakup than I am (but he left me) he even broke down crying last night :( what does he want?

My bf & I broke up after 2 years together (he broke up w me) bc we were starting to argue a lot & the relationship wasn't fun at the end. When he broke up w me I was upset, but accepted it bc I knew begging wouldn't help. I left him be, but we both work at the same place & see each other almost every day(though we don't have to directly talk every day.) when we saw each other for the 1st time since breaking up (only a week later) I was polite & friendly, & so was he. He texted me after & said I look great & he was happy to see me. I replied that it was nice seeing him too. Long story short, I've been pleasant & happy around him, & he had texted me quite a few times (this is over only about 2 weeks) & last night we went to dinner. I could tell he was nervous, so I just carried on friendly convo & we talked just like friends (he later told me he had no idea what to expect from me- he thought I would be angry & mean) When he dropped me back off, he came inside & we talked for a couple of hours. He is the one who broke down crying saying how hard this is for him & that he misses me & it hurts him so much to see that I am doing so well. I told him that it has been hard for me, too, but I understand y he broke up w me. He says he's been so sad & thinks about me all the time- but still wants to be just friends (he kept saying this even though I was never implying I wanted to get back together-even though I do) I am his first serious gf & I think he's shocked as to y I am handling everything so well. I've been giving him plenty of space, but being friendly when we do see each other & never ask him about getting back together. I told him I am happy that we can still be friends.

My ? is, does it sound like he will come around & want to be w me again? It seems like he's having a harder time w the breakup than me. I'm wondering if he has some internal battle going on w himself?

He's not looking for booty call. He's a very fragile/sensitive person

Any opinions appreciated!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds to me like he cheated and felt obligated to break up with you in order not to hurt you.

    • That crossed my mind, but he's very awkward around girls & honestly I think he would be horrified to cheat on me. He's not very experienced w girls. But, that's always a possibility. It's just odd that he's being so emptional & dramatic. I'm honestly being totally cool w him & not begging for him back or anything (don't want to be a psycho girl!) lol. Thanks for your opinion :)

    • Thats just my opinion based on my experiences... If the guy cared that much about you what other reason is there to break up? People fight.

Most Helpful Girl

  • As wise as I am and as smart as I am to pick Up a "Line" that is Not a "Pick up" here, dear, Yes-------It sounds like he will come around & want to be w me again...
    Without you having to spell it out, this is a guy who is heartbroken, is crying the blues and is giving no lame duck excuses when 'He says he's been so sad & thinks about me all the time...'
    Give Him 'Time' to go slow with his own flow. Nurse and nurture this with ease and perhaps in time, some little Extra Over time that you spend with one another, will show old Mother Nature that this is meant to be and much better this time, with her own special reaping a perfect romance with a... second chance.
    Good luck and blessings to you both this year. xx

    • I couldn't believe be broke down to me like that. He said he thinks about me all the time and he's always wondering what I am doing. He said he's hurt every time be sees me and he can't even look at my Instagram because it makes him sad. But, he kept saying that "no matter what happens we will always be friends" and it is just odd that he kept telling me that since I wasn't begging him to be with me again. I told him I think we should put all the bad memories of the relationship behind us and from now on work on starting a brand new friendship. I don't know if he keeps telling me we can only be friends just to see if I react? Or if he is reassuring himself he made the right choice? Either way, the way he broke down and told me all those things so comfortably must mean that he still has some feelings, right? I mean, if he was done with me then why would he want to do that, especially since I've been so mature throughout the breakup?

    • He Does have strong feelings, it's quite Obvious and probably Still wants you in his life. However, he may also want to start Slow and build a new foundation of Friends First and then see where it goes... Work it out and you decide. However, don't be his friends with benefits... xx

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What Guys Said 1

  • Hey just get back with him again... Look maybe you two just needed a break... But broke up.. why don't you get back with him?

    • I would love to get back together with him but he keeps saying right now he wants to be friends, even though I haven't been begging him to come back to me. I don't want to be obnoxious & annoy him and I think if I tell him I want to be in a relationship again it will push him away :(

    • OK well.. I think he will come along... Eventually. I hope you Wait for him

    • I mean I'm not going to go out and look for someone else but I also don't want to just wait for him to come around. I'm hoping that because he has been so open and emotional with me that he still has feelings for me & is comfortable around me. He also said he is so jealous of guys who comment on my IG pictures and he's worried They are guys I'm talking to already. Normally, guys aren't open to ex girlfriends they just broke up with like that... so it's odd that he still feels like he can be like that around me. And he also is hardly telling anyone at work we broke up! (Except for his very close friends) it's so weird

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