How to Cope with a Breakup - What is the Best Way to Get Over Your Ex?

Which is the best way to get over a tough break-up? How to Cope with a Breakup - What is the Best Way to Get Over Your Ex?

  • Stop talking to/texting with your Ex
    Vote A
  • Get rid of all their stuff/gifts
    Vote B
  • Go out with your Family/Friends
    Vote C
  • Go on a Vacation/Getaway
    Vote D
  • Take a Class (Language, Cooking, Yoga)
    Vote E
  • Start a Journal
    Vote F
  • Go out and meet some new people
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • The best way to get over your ex
    Stop all contact ( No text messages, phone calls, emails etc.)
    Go out meet new friends don't out to the same places you went
    out with a ex cause chances are you can run into them or brings
    back memories than you want hold on to them instead find new
    places or things to do
    Go out with your family , take walks, go out and catch a movie
    The worst thing is to be alone and have too much time on your
    hands.
    Don't be in hurry to meet someone new give it time and
    take some time to recover from the hurt, painful memories.

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What Guys Said 60

  • A and G are by far the best.

    A lot of the time, even when someone hurt you, not talking to them for an extended period of time (years) may help things out. I remember when I was in elementary school and some kids used to bully me, or some guys in high school would pick on me. When I got to college, I ran into some of them, and it was generally fairly friendly.

    Talking about how we interacted last was like looking back on some childish bickering. One of the guys talked about how bad his friendships were that he felt he needed to pick on someone to be "one of the guys". Others mentioned terrible home lives, or were closet homosexuals with homophobic parents. Talking to them again after time apart was an incredible sense of closure.

    As long as you keep talking to or bumping into these people, you try to keep the tension between you two. You define them based on how you relate to them, and they do the same to you.

    Once you have broken up with someone, they may be defined by the last fight that you had, or how you felt they had screwed you over. Going a period without seeing them, while having time to heal and certainly meet new people, helps you to forgive them or take your past less personally.

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  • The reason I voted G :-

    A. Stop talking to/texting with your Ex - Sometimes we could still be friends. Watching them finding a new SO, which motivates us to get one too. (Practically seen that)

    B. Get rid of all their stuff/gifts - You could get rid of their stuffs but not of their memories. The more you try to forget, the more you remember.

    C. Go out with your Family/Friends - Going out with family won't work. Family is on one side and SO is on another. One can't fill the space of other. Friends having SO would make it even worse.

    D. Go on a Vacation/Getaway - Isn't it C with more cowardliness?

    E. Take a Class (Language, Cooking, Yoga) - Most people are currently taking at least one class. But we would need someone to share the experience and help us out, discussions. Yes, it'd keep us busy but it REALLY DOESN'T GIVE mental stability. (I done this and failed badly)

    F. Start a Journal - 'E' done at home

    G. Go out and meet some new people - This would fill all the spaces. You could do all of the above works in this. You will meet new people having a vast list of hobbies and interests which would easily fill up all of the spaces. They would divert your mind easily and who know you'd find the one out of them?

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  • I had to pick one to get to the question from where I was. but the best way is therapy and time. but it depends on how long you were together. I was with my ex 25 years. it took me very long time to get to the point where I could move forward. I never had a girlfriend before right now at 46. I only went on dates with 5 women before meeting my ex. I have dated 12 women in the last 12 months. 9 were in a 2 month window. then i stopped because it was too soon to date. but I have my first girlfriend now. and if I don't get dumped, I will marry her. because just like i knew with my ex wife, I know she is the one. Benefits of age and knowing true love.

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  • Go home, cry, cry a lot, and realize that love is not just a game, that you need to choose carefully to whom you are giving your heart (and body, they are not quite separatable)...

    By the way, you can ask your true friends for some support, they will give you all the true love you need in a situation like this. If you don't have such friends in your live, then again go home, cry, cry a lot, and realize that you really need such people in your life.

    Then try to find such people in your surroundings, or anywhere in the world (use the powers internet offers you). If you keep on failing to find anyone after years of searching, go home, cry, cry a lot, and realize that something is really wrong with our society, and that something has to be changed if we want it to be a place we would love to live in!

    But you can just forget everything (or at least try to, its not that easy by the way, actually it might require a real mastery of the arts of denial and self-distraction), and just keep on making the same mistakes again, and again, just lather, rinse, repeat...

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  • I have always found it easier to get over an ex by cutting all lines of communication ( provided there are no children born to said relationship.

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  • G.

    Im not saying rebound. But starting to date again is good for self esteem. Just not talking to the ex doesn't stop the thoughts and feelings or keep you from being a hermit. Being reminded of the fact that another person of the opposite sex is attracted to you and could potentially have a future with them makes it easier. It feels good to have an attractive person find you attractive.

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  • Believe me dude the BEST thing is to meet new people... this will make you forget anything that hurts you...

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  • Definitely cutting all contact, and moving on meeting new people or just focusing on yourself for a good while.

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  • Honestly go with all of the above, but most importantly you need to go meet new people and get your mind off of what used to be...

    Take a night out with friends and have them bring their other friends to help you meet some new and interesting guys (or girls, whatever your preference is)..

    You could always get on Tindr so you can secretly turn down a bunch of people without them knowing. That's definitely an ego-booster. Haha.

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  • Cut all contact and move on. Just get that person out of your system

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  • The thing is to destroy any reminder of your bullshit ex. stay away from his social media accouts , break/sell/throw all of his things, don't listen to love/heartbreak songs, don't talk to non of his friends and family and go out live your life. Pick or an instrument, write a poem, etc it beats lying around like a bag of potatoes.

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  • I picked E because it forces you to devote all or most of your thoughts to something other than your ex, but none of the others do.

    I didn't pick A because that choice is part of the breakup, not a way to get over it. If you're still communicating with them, you still have a relationship.

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  • Definitely A. It's impossible to get over someone if you are unnecessarily talking to them... that only prolongs the healing process.

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  • try to get closure what ever way u feel to be right to you make sure its really over then just try to think about them less every day try to keep your mind off them by going out with friends or doing stuff you like then one day you won't think about them as much

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  • It always takes time to get over someone, but the best thing to do is appreciate the good times you had, learn from the bad times, and not dwell. Good luck to everyone.

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  • It's probably best to completely disassociate, when I didn't and it has really drawn out the process. I know its hard but you're going to feel bad for longer and then you'll feel guilty for meeting people.

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  • I think more than one option is right. It will not work for everyone the same way but I think the best overall is the option G.
    Taking your mind off the one you loved is the best way to avert your thoughts into something else. I don't mean it has to be in a romantic way, just do stuff that is interesting and time consuming.

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  • You got to 1st and foremost (A) Stop talking to/texting with your Ex
    Then right after you (B) Get rid of all their stuff/gifts
    And then you start to (C) Go out with your Family/Friends

    Keep yourself busy taking care of your life.
    That's the best way to move on.

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  • Family and friends I think is the best option. All of them I think are things to consider though.

    Family and friends have been the best for me though. I finally opened up to my mother about my relationship and ironically she was the one I feared most sharing it with yet I think she helped the most.

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  • Best way to get over someone. Is to to get under someone else

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  • Answered C as think it is the best way to get over a break up but I believe it goes hand in hand with A because you can't keep talking to them. All contact must be broken.

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  • What I've found to work is to fill my time with as many things that make me happy as possible. it helps get my mind off the negativity

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  • Do all of those!

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  • The best advice I had was not to overindulge in anything. So avoid drink, drugs, smoking to excess and lots of flings. Maybe start seeing one other person if you feel you need a "rebound relationship", you might even find someone who gives you more comfort than you think.

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  • starting a new journal is best way to get out from her thoughts and fights everything and by making new friends and going out with your friends is also the best way to get out her intention... and by going out mainly do not go the same place where the both people spent time... because by going in that place means you are passing from hell gate to HELL... as much as possible avoid the same place and go to another spot which gives you peace...

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  • You have to tough it out keep your head up and keep moving forward

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  • I don't agree with A. Sometimes it doesn't work out, but for certain couples that's not an option. People have joint children and joint responsibilities, option A is a childish way of handling it. I ended up voting D, but E is also a good option.

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  • Occupy yourself. Do things you like to keep your mind away from thinking about him.

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  • A is the best for me but my ex kept calling me and wanted to go back out with me and would cry at night if i didn't want to talk to her so I was tired of it and went back out with her.

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  • The best thing to do is to cut contact. A relationship is like a drug and feelings for a another person are perpetuated by communication and contact. Cut it and go cold turkey.

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What Girls Said 61

  • I've been speaking to numerous guys and it has distracted me, though I do occasionally wish my ex would text me or beg for me back. I could speak to 100 beautiful men but my heart would still reside with him.
    I met up with a guy yesterday who was so damn hot, like out of this world hot, my mum even blushed after seeing him. When he said he thought I was hot and that he was nervous around me, I felt really confident and it made me realise that there are guys out there who could possibly be even better than my ex. I'm glad I met him now, it's made me a little stronger, more independent and a little happier.
    I would say meeting up with new people helps you realise that there are other interesting people out there who can care for you. Being around people makes me forget all my troubles too.

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  • I think not talking to them is important. But i also think focusing more on yourself is important. I said vacation or getaway which is great if you have time and money. I'm a strong proponent of the eat pray love idea (good book, if you're going through a hard breakup you should totally check it out). Getting away from everything and focusing on bettering yourself for yourself is extremely important.

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  • Actively taking all options into consideration makes getting over someone easier. The first one not speaking to them anymore isn't rocket science, it's obvious the more you converse with someone who has hurt you (perhaps not on purpose) isn't going to help you. Def remove them from your life , this means the little things s/he gave you , or that reminds you of that person.., if you don't want to throw it out entirely , compile the items and store them in a box. Out of sight out of mind. The rest of it is simple enough when you take time out to enjoy it with friends and family, or take a holiday with the above people you may meet new people thus taking your mind off things. Same goes for taking a class in something you like, or have always wanted to try. LiveJournal-ing and/or blogging about your feelings isn't always the right idea, if you really do want to express yourself and how you're feeling kick it what is now seen as 'old-school' , and put pen to paper. That way your eyes are the only ones viewing it, and it won't come back to haunt you.

    Either way whichever option you choose just remember that word 'ex' before the gender stands for example ;) Not gender specific here , but let it be known music is a great healer of all emotions and expressing them! :)

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  • The best way to get over a break up (for me) is to just 1. Let it all out. Cry, talk to your friends/family about it just get all that pain and sadness out. 2. Rethink your standards. I literally ended up writing a list of standards (accepatable standards) that i wanted in a guy and realize that my ex only had two which showed me where some of this went wrong. 3. Improve your self, i also wrote down a list of goals I wanted for myself. It doesn't necessary mean working out or dying your hair. For me it was becoming the kind of woman I wanted my boyfriend to be (why would a ten want a one when it comes to quality?) 4. Go out and live life. And always remember when one door shuts another one ALWAYS open. Thats the circle of life. You just have to choose which door to open.

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  • Get rid of their stuff and then spend some time with your friends doing fun shit. Take advantage of the freedom you now have to do whatever you wanna do. It'll make ya feel better.

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    • i agree. fill your life with happy things, it really helps I think

  • I also agree with B, C, D and E
    But the first thing to do is stop all intial contact if you have to delete, change and erase everything do it. It's going to suck it's going to be painful it's going to make you think back to time when etc etc. But it'll help

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  • Honestly, you should be doing all of this. But, the most important is to cut ties. No talking, cold turkey, just let it go.

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  • i definitely think the first step is to stop communication. a lot of people break up but keep talking to their ex, just because they're used to it and they don't wanna let go. this is the first step in really solidifying the breakup, and letting it sink in. stop talking. get used to it. to get your mind off things, go and distract yourself. hang out with friends and have positive distractions. remind yourself life will go on without your ex significant other. the best way to get over your ex requires a few steps and it might take a while. but definitely stop all contact first. it will make things easier in the longrun.

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  • Do what I did, get a restraining order and have him arrested for family violence. That worked like a charm!! Unfortunate circumstances, but it ended the 4 year relationship in a matter of 1 hour, forever... talk about abrupt loss. Its been hard as hell and I still wonder what's he's doing, does he regret it, did he ever really 'care', etc. But it was for the best for obvious reasons as he just continued to get way to comfortable acting out at smallest things. Like lights on when he came home from out of town because I was scared at night. Idiot!! see... still hurting, 6 months later.

    But on a serious note, just kidding and hopefully those would never be anyone else's circumstances but the no contact rule is the truth. You just better be prepared to carry it out. Get busy, do and engage in other things... keep your mind on 'other' things.

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    • im in a very similar situation to you, our relationship of nearly 4 years ended very recently after a series of violent attacks on me, the last one being the final straw and a restriction order being put in place. no contact whatsoever, and for the first week or so i felt great, but now, god do i miss her, even tho i hate her guts and would never have her back again, im still hurting over the fact i will never be able to hold her again (why would i want to really? ) but unfortunately i do ! its hard especially because i found out she's already with some one body else, its been like two weeks, but thats just confirmed what people already told me - she never really cared about me anyway, and as that fact is making me move on lot quicker i also feel deeply upset because
      i thought she did :(

    • I feel your pain, I truly do. I felt the same way too. Its been 6 months and I still hurt daily... I hope the feeling goes away soon. I've exhausted from it. I think once I start new job, it will really help get my mind busy and off of it all. Hang tight, you will be ok and better off whether you think so in your heart right now or not. As the old saying goes, time will heal the pain.

  • The best way to get over an ex is to cut off all contact with them and never speak to them again. If you need to cry, then cry but do not spoil yourself with sad songs that remind you of him/her. Another thing that helped me was acting like they don't exist, if you two go to the same school. Focusing on yourself helped me a lot as well. Getting rid of the stuff he gave me also helped. Go out and meet new people, socialize with other people, don't date just yet but give yourself time to heal and put yourself out there again. A and B always worked for me.

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  • Stay BUSY. Do not contact him whatsoever, and get rid of any memory of him. He's your EX. Keep occupied with friends, go on bike rides, walk on the beach, hike, but absolutely do not allow yourself to be alone while you're grieving. Always keep people that care about you close.

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  • U need to not just do 1 of those but most of them, u need to stop all contact with him, and then take ur mins off the fact that u arnt talking to him anymore by going out with friends and family and maybe going on a vacation with them. You also need to get rid of gifts and stuff so that u don't have reminders of him, and u can pick up hobbies like going to classes and stuff to keep u occupied and when u feel ready, u can get back out there and meet people, or u can even just go out and have some fun

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  • I'd say just distract yourself. No need to spend money on classes, new hobbies, etc. Find things (friends family, current hobbies, stuff like that) to distract yourself and to make you feel better. Don't dwell on the person or the breakup.

    Also don't force yourself to forget about the person completely, though. There's no good reason to kick the person out of your life. Keep their number in case you want to talk later. Talk every once in a while. Keep in touch with each other just so you know what's going on in each others' lives.

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  • People always say: 'go out, do stuff with friends' bla bla bla. This is REALLY hard when you're feeling down. Distraction is good, but it is better to go through the breakup process with all the nasty feelings included. Cry, scream, listen to sad music, do whatever. At some point, you will realize yourself that you should move on. Try to, at all times, feel good about yourself, your self-image. Tell yourself that you are enough, and deserve to be happy.

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  • I recently parted with my boyfriend, Josh.

    He kept trying to get back with me, but then I keep seeing someone with him.
    He texted me, saying things like "Please come back, I'm sorry I hurt you!" and "Please forgive me."

    So since he's still trying to get me to come back to him, I've blocked his number, and I planned a way to get through the school without bumping into him, and whenever I DO run into him, I just act like idgaf about how he freaking treated me, so if he looks at me, I look at him like I would look at any other person. If he says something to me, I just say, "M'kay."

    Good luck with your coping! Sorry if I couldn't help. I know how it feels.

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  • All of the above.

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  • I voted G but if you did all of those things in one time frame, your life would be exceptionally enriched!

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  • eat something sweet!! it really helps, take a break to the countryside, travel, read and certainly have company! u will not be able to immediately cut all ties with ur ex so shift ur attention to fun stuff, discover new things... plus don't try dating just after the breakup as it means that the next guy will only ur consolation not love, spend some alone time, groom urself and treat urself to stuff! Improve urself like getting some fun hairstyle or colour!! ;)

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  • All of them helpest, but there's no guarantee and some could actually backfire, bringing up old memories of better times.

    What worked for me was G, but I'm sure I was just lucky. If you go out every weekend and only get to meet new people who let you down, you would miss the ex even more.

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  • Do all of them and it would be fun if you made a party and have piƱata and put your ex face on it and hit it as well burn pics and stuuf that your don't want back and make a bonfire party

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  • All if the above :) figure out who YOU are again! Enjoy the freedom! Look at this as a positive thing rather than a negative thing. Definitely delete then out of your life completely and surround yourself with family and friends. It gets easier every day.

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  • I feel like I'm the only one who still talks to their ex and doesn't really have a problem with it since the realationship wasn't really "real" in the first place. I think the poll is subjective and the choices will only work for some people, going on with my life and making friends was the best for me.

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  • I would say A and the last one. Everytime you text that person then you remind yourself of all the times you had together. You gotta get back on the horse and find someone else. Also it will give you a great advantage. This person will then realize what they had lost and will not get back good luck hope you find your number one

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  • All of the above?

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  • All of the above

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  • Communication is so important to me, the best way for me to move on is to stop talking to an ex. Out of sight out of mind! Well... not seeing his texts, missed calls, messages etc will help me. Keeping busy with friends and/or family, or a hobby also really helps.

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  • I'll go against the majority and say don't do A, unless your relationship ended horribly. I broke up with my ex in the end of last year and een if I had to lose him as a boyfriend, I hope I don't have to lose him as a friend. He's an amazing person overall. I always support my SO to be friends with their ex too. It's sad to see people who used to be close turn into strangers/enemies.

    My favourite answer is G. Talk about it, let your friends comfort you and meet other people too.

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  • The best way to get over an ex is to break all contact & put your thoughts elsewhere.

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  • Do what u haven't done with your ex. Accept the fact things wouldn't work out for whatever reason it may be. Distance yourself from your ex, keep yourself busy. But dont talk to no one else. It'll just hurt you more cause you'll miss your ex more, hurt that person twice as much cause you may be still in love with your ex, live your life with fun and excitement. you'll meet someone better along the way

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  • All of these are really great

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