I found out on Facebook she started dating another guy. Should I stay friends with her?

Long story short, I talked to this girl I like for over 6 months but I didn't make any major moves (due to shyness and inexperience).

I found out on Facebook she started dating another guy (she didn't tell me about him) so I confronted her about it. She apologized, and confessed that she's liked me since we met in highschool 2 years ago. After we started talking she didn't think it was going anywhere, but she kept talking to me because she liked me in her life.

I confessed that I've liked her since we met 2 years ago too, apologized for taking things too slow, and said that I still like her and it obviously bothers me seeing her with someone else.

She said she would hate to lose me as a friend because she likes talking to me, but she doesn't want me to end up hating her or feeling miserable, so it is up to me whether we stay friends or not.

So, should we? I still kinda like her, and it hurts everytime I think about her being with someone else, but I honestly don't know if I can completely give her up. I feel attached to her, since we've talked everyday for over 6 months, and I somehow convinced myself we'd be together even though I was too scared to make a move. I enjoy talking to her too, but I've always had the intention of dating her, so I'm not sure how/if I can talk to her just as a friend

Any advice is appreciated.
  • Stay just friends
    Vote A
  • Cut her out of your life completely
    Vote B
  • I wanna see the results
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
I don't know why, but GaG changed the title of my question.

I'm not asking if I should stay friends with her on Facebook, I'm asking if I should remain friends with her in real life.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • In a sticky situation as this one is here, dear, you Can in this case, have your cake and it too here, dear. What I mean by this, if you stay on FB as a friend indeed, you can also become a friend in need as well and Just-----Remain friends to the end, should this be meant to be.
    If you feel it isn't going to be a knife in your own heart when you know she is with someone else on FB, then be her friend. She has left the difficult decision entirely yup to you and who knows... where this might go with the other guy.
    For now, if you do decide to hang in there and stay on her Friend's list, keep it lite and semi sweet and stay in the chat box, and no harm in keeping your eyes and ears open while on this page and her profile, which is open to you to watch and observe.
    In the meantime, meet others and if it isn't Her in the end on Fb or even another, there are Others who are out there who are more available.
    Good luck. xx

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Like you said, it will hurt every time you see her with this other guy. You will always like her in a romantic way, not a friendly way. So being only friends will not work. You will never be happy simply waiting on the side-lines for someone that may never be available to you. Don't waste a bunch of time because this will prevent you from moving on. If you stay fixated on her you may miss another chance with someone else. I say to cut her loose and move on. Let this be a life lesson learned. Sorry, man. I've been there too!

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    • What this guy said. I wouldn't cut her out altogether but I would keep on stepping. If the door opens up later go for it. If not, so be it, I don't ever recommend putting life in a holding pattern. It's too short.

      Don't avoid her and don't torture yourself. Don't let yourself be friend zoned either...

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 14

  • Well if you would have ACTUALLY made a move, you def. would be together.

    You shouldn't end your friendship because she met someone. Try to put your jealousy and frustration on the side and focus on the good things you have with her.
    Who knows, this new relationship might not last forever, especially now that you two have come clean about your feelings.

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    • So if her new relationship doesn't work out and they break up, then I make a move on her? Wouldn't it be way too late?

    • Well, not necessarily and anyway, if you don't go for it then either, how will you ever know?
      Will you regret not making a move then too?

  • Just ask her if she likes to be with you now. If she has just started dating someone, then you still, have a chance before things get serious for them

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  • If I was in your position I would just get over her and find someone new. If you haven't found anyone yet and she turns out single again just start talking to her again and start from where you left off from. 😄

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  • I vote B. You will just get hurt if you decide to continue your friendship.

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  • I'd say if you don't want to steal her from that other guy, it's best to cut her out of your life for now.. and reappear when she's single and pick up where you left off. Just try to make a move a little faster then.

    If you have no intention to be the 'next' guy and want the feelings to go away.. Cutting her out of your life will let you get over her faster, but when you run into her again the feelings could reappear. Staying just friends will take you longer to get over her, but once the feelings are gone, they are forever gone.

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  • Try and slip something romantic in there or tickle her or kiss her u Srsly should stay friends

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    • omg really? she has a fricking boyfriend for goodness sakes!!!

  • He who hesitates is lost.

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  • Woaaaaah fascinating poll results.

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  • dude.. I'm talking with this guy whose super shy as well.. & most of the guys I've dated in my life were not shy at all.. the point of me saying this is that I didn't end up staying in any of those relationships because they were missing what I needed most.. the emotions of a shy guy.. being that I'm shy as well I finally realized what I wanted and decided that if the shy guy I liked wasn't going to make a move then I was going to have to do so or else I'd lose him forever. Which I knew all along was never an option in my head. Either work on your shyness and overcome it to gain what might be the love of your life or regret losing her forever to someone else in marriage.

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  • Are you two in high school?

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What Guys Said 21

  • You should never be in any kind of relationship, whether it's business, friendship, or romance, that you aren't happy with. Don't be a dick about it, but just tell her how you feel. Say something sweet, confident, bold, short, and simple, like "I feel stupid for not telling you until now, but I want you. There's just no way I can be just friends with a woman as sexy and fun as you are. When you're single again give me a call and I'll plan something fun and romantic for us." After that walk away and NEVER contact her again unless you're no longer romantically interested. If she contacts you, assume she's single and ask her when she free to go out and when you do go out kiss her.

    On the other hand, if you're okay with never having a romantic relationship with her then go ahead and be just friends. Once you agree to being just friends with a woman she will lose romantic attraction for you and it will be very hard to get it back. Odds are very likely this other guy will screw it up, so if you do like her as more than a friend just wait it out, see other women, and before you know it she'll probably be giving you a call and then you can go out on a date with her.

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  • Here's my take on it, you like her, she likes you, I don't know why she couldn't bring it up in 6 months that she wanted more but now she's got someone else. There's 3 things you need to do: 1) Be her friend but still not get completely friendzoned 2) Don't look bitter and most importantly, 3) Make her want you. Don't delete her, that takes care of 1 and 2 to an extent, being bitter gives the other person the upper hand and you don't want that. Don't go on lunch dates and be the shoulder to cry on. Talk here and there but avoid hanging out in person. Back off of her. It's human nature to want what we can't have. Start dating and let her see this, not blatantly but subtle things, updates on FB that show you had a great night but leaves something to the imagination. Mutual friend is having a party? Make sure if you're both there you have a date. Let her see that you are strong and don't need her and it may just very well end up swinging in your favor. Trust me I've tested this stuff and it has a very high success rate lol. Distance (not necessarily in the physical sense) makes the heart grow fonder. Good luck dude.

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  • Normally I'd say move on, but this happened to me too. I fell for a girl, too shy, she started dating someone else, I confessed, they broke up less than 2 weeks later, and we started dating. So it can happen.

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  • A weak minded person only see one thing. You only see her for dating.

    You don't see her as a person and the reason you will always do bad with women. Think you want a one sided relationship, where she only likes you and you have not finished growing up or developing into someone that a woman would want. Go to church and learn how to be a complete man before you start making bad decisions that define you as a clutz.

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  • Bro if it hurts to see her with someone else then cut her off. Move on and find a better girl because if she really liked you she would have asked you out in a heart beat even though she probably was waiting on you to ask her but she could have at least asked.

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  • She's two timing at least one of the guys in her life, by her own admission.
    Most likely, she's two timng BOTH of you!!

    Why wait around for her to make it three-timing?

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  • Stop becoming a wuss you fool!! You're compromising your own manhood only to be disrespected by her in the end!

    Be a man of honour! Cut her out immediately! If she asks why, tell her that she doesn't deserve his attention anymore. You have to make dishonest people realise their dishonesty rather than making it an easy way out for them!

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  • I would recommend being a friendly acquaintance, but perhaps it's worth considering putting some distance between you.

    This does not mean you become mean or nasty or sever all ties. However, consider spending less time with her. She was very gracious to understand that continued contact is painful to you. You'd be surprised how many people don't get this. You are fortunate she's offering you a way out without getting angry at you.

    Now, perhaps in future it would be best NOT to wait so long to ask a girl out. Be up front with your emotions.

    I get that you're shy, but perhaps it's best to act even in the face of shyness.

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  • If you want her go and get her. Fortune favours the bold. If she just wants you as a friend, get rid of her completely. She'll mess your head up

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  • YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH A GIRL.

    STOP THAT SHIT AND STOP BEING A BITCH.

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    11

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