How do you get over a terrible break up?

Hi. So this passed weekend my now ex and I broke up after 3 and a half years together. He was never the nicest person. I don't know what kept me with him so long. Oh well I do know. We both have type one herpes. A long time ago we messed around when he had a cold sore and yeah we found out what it was. And I know dumb of me to do stuff when he had that. But truth is, we don't really know who gave it to who or if like maybe we shared a drink with somebody who had it or one of us had it all along. So I don't want to completely blame him. We found this out before he cheated on me. Summer 2013 he cheated on me and I found out and he didn't even fight for me until days later but didn't even beg or ask for forgiveness and my dumb self forgave him. Anyway, I can say for sure I was in a emotional abusive relationship. He called me a bitch 5 times a day, kept breaking my trust, checked out girls including my mom, belittled me and called me so many names. He never believed in me or supported anything I wanted to do. Everything was his way or no way. I loved him and I and still do and the break up was a long time coming but this was the worst way. I went on his snapchat and he was messaging a girl. Not really flirting but I saw he had so many girls on snapchat and like even messages a certain girl while I was around him. Well when I confronted him about that and about how he was lying about where he was he told me to kill myself and he doesn't care if I die. I'm really hurt because I've always felt not good enough and like he always wanted other girls and now I feel worse because I know he's already moving on and I'm here just crying. I knew this would eventually happen but to him it's like I was nothing. What kept me with him so long was the herpes thing. I only had one symptom in 2011 when, I went to get checked and I never had another. My doctor says it's no big deal but it is to me. I feel like when I'm ready to date again and of course I'm going to be honest....

Updates:
... about it, I feel like nobody will want me because of it. I think I would be a little less depressed about the break up if I didn't have this but I do have it and I'm just lost. My ex said when he dates he isn't going to tell that he has it cause it's not a big deal but I think that's messed up. Im fine alone but it just scares me not ever finding anybody. And I feel like he will find somebody and treat her so much better. I don't know how to just move on and
And be hopeful about finding somebody.

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  • There its no nice way. just do our and get it over with.

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  • Don't think about him
    Spend time with friends and family
    Get busy - what are your hobbies?

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