Ex boyfriend issues, can anyone help clarify?

Broke up two weeks ago.... He was being really loving for three days after and texting me I love you and sweet dreams. Then one night I was mad and I just told him "that loving someone doesn't always mean it's right" after that didn't hear from him for two days.... He did text my sisters and asked how I was doing.... So I texted to see how things were... my mistake. We talked for a bit then one of his friends was drunk so I said goodnight but he said no I'm more important. I was tired though and passed out. He sent me two snaps of two stuffed animals that I like the next day but that's it. Then we talked the Saturday after that so it was good and he was being friendly until it got sad.... He posted a video of a family going through hardship and said "it reminds me of you" then we almost ran into each other at a place we used to hang out but we didn't and he went someplace else with other friends. He blamed me for a friend getting drunk but I can't buy drinks. I told him it was to clear his own conscious because he said he was trying to make me mad so I could move on. He said sorry and we continued to talk and it was ok but then we got into a conversation about "how he's barely 22 and it's only his second year of doing whatever he wants" so I was like ok. But then he was saying he could change for me like he said the day I ended things. This got more confusing, and so the next day we were talking and I flat out said "I feel you don't want me back" he said "why do you keep thinking that!" And I was confused so I let it go. He texted me finally later two days and it was casual conversation so I was like ok... It's been a week and haven't heard anything. But he texted my sister saying he missed hanging w her. I'm highly confused on what he wants or thinks. I wanted to make things work but I got tired of waiting. In the end I just left and hoped maybe he'd see he had to work to fix things this time. We've fought but Never broke. Do you feel he will want to work it out?
Updates:
I still want to fix things and I guess he left me with the hope he did but now he acts fine... And I don't know what to think. He parties w my friends and his friends and I can't do anything being 20. I feel he knows that. And then texting my sister... Is it to get to me or is he trying to be friends w her again. Would really like some clarity as to what people think and what I should do in the end. Also if I do want to get back but don't want to initiate what do i do? How can I know he does?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would leave him. He won't change. Pretty soon you'll be back right where you were before

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    • Suppose so, it's just confusing and I would like clarification to all the shit that happened. We were together for over a year... I want to know what changes in him for me to just give up. Why did it happen? Or why did he keep playing with my emotions after I said we were done? Do you think he did want to fix it or was it just so he didn't seem like the bad guy?

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    • I think you need to revaluate this. I can see your upset with him when he drinks. I think you two need to sit down and actually talk. Like really talk. If you need someone like a third party do that. You don't have to be married to go to a marriage counselor. It almost seems this will get better next year when you can go out. You also need to trust him as well. You say friendly but I don't know what that means. This seems a bit childish. He obviously loves you, wouldn't cheat. Him saying he's only 22 is because of you making him think he can't be in a relationship. You just need to work on it. You need to learn to forget as well. Also that you only fight when he's drunk is not good. Couples need to fight! B. S you can go to bars at 20 tell them your the DH. If you really want to go there's a way

    • He cheated on me once... not like full on cheat, but like kissed another girl while I was passed out on meds from wisdom teeth removal. He told me a week after feeling much remorse and I forgave him. I never had a problem with how he was with other people not until this happened and then he would ask me why I was just talking to a friend of his... (they ask for advice from me all the time) and then it would rile me up the more he pressured until I would say Im not the one that isn't trustworthy... but thats when he pushed me to my end. I don't like rehashing the past, not after letting it go but again he would push it. He had to understand why I felt awkward with how he would get with other girls, but nope. He said he loved me and was sorry for it and I don't think he ever did it again but there is that sense of just being uncomfortable that he didn't respect. He also went to the movies by himself with a friend of mine, but if I ever did that I would have gotten so much shit.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he does not even really know what he wants and until he knows what that is he is going to be nothing but confusion and heart ache for you. Just the fact he would even bring up his age means he is far more concerned with himself and what he wants to do, then he is with being in a relationship. Some people just can't handle attachment and need to "live it up while they are young." he will figure it out one day but I would not recommend counting on it or waiting for it. Being there as a friend is always nice but only if you can really handle it and be okay with that.

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    • That's what I felt. But while in the relationship we were down until he would drink then we'd get into fights but he always tried to make it right. I almost broke up with him once and he begged me not so I didn't... He did the same this time but I'm lost and confused. Is till love him and acre for him but if it's inly me now then I know what I have to do. Just certain things he did and said led me to believe he did want me... And still does but then it goes back to him being about him

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    • He used to say he would do anything for me and he did once... he gave up drinking and partying for a while until I felt bad and told him he could hang out with people and do stuff, just dont get so messed up. We were good until about three weeks after that my sister invited all our friends and of course us to a house party at home... we were fine but a friend needed to talk to me which happens frequently and so I helped them. All the while he got into a shotgunning comp w a buddy and yeah... We got into a fight (only happens when he's drunk) with him saying I was ignoring him and I got mad and called him a drunk idiot, but we fixed it the next day. Thing is he went back to getting bad and for awhile it wasn't horrible just annoying... then he started getting close to a friend and it set me off. We fixed it and we were good again in like January... Then we all drank and again he got close... I forgave it but it was stuck and so I ended it.

    • Its not that he can't change, its that even though he wanted the "serious" relationship because he didn't want another to have me, he still didn't want to give up being newel 21... later 22. I'm 20 so I obviously can't go to bars, but after awhile he'd just wait till I went out of town then hit up the town. Didn't do anything bad bad, just didn't tell me once and he acted like he finally had "freedom!" I was even gonna try and get a fake so we could go out like he "wanted" us to. I feel he did want that, btu wasn't willing to wait. So I do feel he cared and loved me and maybe still does, but another part felt he didn't get to experience being single and 21 like his buddies.

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What Guys Said 1

  • you relationships sounds retarded. You left him for a reason, he's a needy BITCH. Do you want to wear the pants in the relationship? Leave him for good

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