How do you know when it's time to call it quits?

We've been together for 5 almost 6 years. Everything was great during the dating time frame, but once we got married, it's like he stopped trying. He started traveling a lot for work; he'd be gone for almost the whole year for several years. He got to where he didn't seem interested in being intimate with me. I tried different things to spice it, but would get shot down. Like he would say he's tired, later, or after a tv show, blame his age (he's about to be 34, so thats a load of crap), have a fit or whatever. I've always been open with this issue with him, but he would get an attitude and not want to talk about it. We'd get into fights a lot while he was on the road and he'd tell me he can't work like this (us fighting while he is gone). He's gotten to where he doesn't show any initiation during intimate moments. I'd like to feel desired as well and be pursued. There has been many times I've cried and felt unattractive or something. I've told him, I'd like to do the dirty with him everyday, but he's like no, that he needs a day break in between each time. We'd go wks without anything. I try to show him I want him by goofing around and grab a**ing him and what not. All I get from him are long hugs and peck kisses which is nice but I want to feel sexually desired as well. I've wondered if he was cheating on me since he's gone a lot and how he acts with me. He's been home a lot more this yr, but he stays in his office once he comes home from work. He'll come out to eat or when it's time for bed. This has been an issue for years now. We had some issues end of last year, I meet a guy through friends and we hooked up, my husband knows, and it was a crazy time, we were separated but chose to work it out, and he was pulling all the stops and saying everything I wanted to hear, and picked up his game and apologized for being selfish during our marriage. But these last couple of months, he's starting to go back to spending less time with me. It's like the cycle is repeating.

Updates:
The last time we did the deed, he had told me that if I wanted to we could, but I'd have to do all the work that he was just going to lay there. I was like really? And told him he could show an interest and do things to turn me on. He halfa**ed it and then just stopped, so I did it all again. I just don't feel loved. I feel like I'm the man wanting it and he's the woman making excuses. I just don't know what to do. We don't do anything, likes dates or whatever. I talk to him about this all.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You two are on life support. Get professional counseling (the two of you will have to agree to go together) or pull the plug.

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What Girls Said 1

  • When you start feeling unhappy and hopeless in your relationship.

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