Why can't I move on?

My ex and I broke up nearly 2 months ago, after a month of dragging out the breakup process because my now ex lost his dad late last year and the reality of this situation only hit him this year! He suddenly lost himself, he kept telling me he wasn't the same person I met a year ago. After promising me days before he wasn't looking for anyone else and telling me he loved me, he went stone cold silent, literally heard nothing but found out he was on dating websites the day after he went silent.
After a month of nothing and sending the odd texts (and hearing nothing back), he sent me drunken abuse for being on the same dating website as him! He then sent a "fine... I'm sorry" apology later in the week after telling me he doesn't hate me, and that he doesn't remember sending me texts.

I then stupidly drunkenly called him last weekend, but he didn't answer, but did decide to start texting. A few days later he looked at my profile on the dating website but said nothing...

I know I'm at fault for not helping myself move on... but I can't help be overcome by fear of him moving on! I'd go to hell and high waters to get him back, and a little part of me hopes this isn't the end...

How do people manage to move on succesfully?

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What Guys Said 1

  • From many cases that I've seen of people "moving on" instantly, it takes a constant high level of denial and self reaffirmation to pull that off, which takes a lot out of people. This could eventually leads to either future failed relationships or anger at the ex. It doesn't happen to everyone though, i guess some people have the energy to expend on denial and stuff. The safest (but not so easy) way to move on in my opinion is acceptance, oh, and meeting new people.
    Accept that you were with said ex, accept at some point you loved them, accept that things went bad and you broke up, accept you still love them, then accept that you can't go back. No contact works quite well with that I hear.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It is a hard place to find yourself, when you do want emotions and feelings to shut off in order to work on healing. It sucks, plain and simple, it really does.

    What one should do is take back their own personal power. Meaning, the drunk texts or even sober ones, should stop. Start investing in yourself. Like many of us, we forego the activities that we enjoy when we are discovering and learning about someone new. Remind yourself of things that you enjoyed before he came into the picture.

    Time does heal all.

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