help!! even though i broke it off, why do i feel like i did the wrong thing?

I broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago. I haven't spoke to her since.. (Well once, but she said she hated me). I never really had deep feelings for anybody. She made me feel.. She let me in and I couldn't reciprocate due to my own shortcomings. The reason why I broke up with her is that she has a kid, and I know for a fact that I'm not in the mental place to be a father figure and head of household. I couldn't be what she needed. I understand that. Everybody grows different. Pardon me, but these feelings are new to me and this is partly me venting. I want her back with my animal mind (strictly emotion), but I know better. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, HOW IN THE WORLD DO I DEAL WITH THIS!?!? That was the first time in my life I felt something other than Shallow emotion. I dream about her.. Constantly.. I don't know.. Im just looking for insight or someone who's felt this before


Most Helpful Girl

  • my husband and i were soulmates and we parted because i couldnt have kids. he didn't know this, i selfishly pushed him away for 2 years until he left as i knew he would never leave me because of it but he wanted so badly to be a father to his own children.

    I feel your pain as I cannot have him back but i miss him every day. If you really feel you cannot take her child on then don't go near her. In the end she made the choice to have a child and to potentially be alone with said child and knowing the potential a man may reject her because of it.

    If you can't get passed it, dont do it.


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What Girls Said 3

  • It's good that intellectually you know that the relationship is over now you just need to get the emotions on board! Is there something new you've wanted to try, learn, or go? Maybe start there and give yourself something to look forward to. Try to give yourself positive activities so you can be focused on those instead of old nostalgia. Grow yourself for yourself.

  • I'm a mom and have felt this way before. Very similar scenario.. Dude and I had an awesome connection, I dreamt of him often aswell. It was an unspoken bond. Deep, limitless love for eachother. Anyway, he ended up leaving without a trace, but I always knew that he wasn't ready for the type of commitment involved with a child on board. I still think of him from time to time, but severing all ties and contact with him has helped. You just have to keep on moving forward. Hope time heals all for you!

  • What's the problem with her having a child? Does that affect your feelings towards her? If not then I'd say get back to loving her because that child is just another soul wanting to be loved probaby just as much as this girl

    • He clearly stated that he can't handle being a father figure. You can't be with a women with small children and not be in the kids life too.

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