I miss my friend (ex)? Should I initiate contact again?

Okay so we weren't together in the first place so I'm not sure if I should call him my ex :)) at first, he told me he likes me so we got to know each other and been really close the past 3 years. Then I asked if he wants to make things official and he said no., so we ended things. Well, I'm not sure until now if it's because he doesn't see me as more than a friend anymore or it's because of the distance.

admittedly, I was very hurt at first and I guess I said a lot of things I didn't really mean (like, "I hate you, you just led me on?" And other things). For the record, he said he didn't really lead me on because all this time, he's trying to change for me but maybe doesn't think we match as partners.

anyway, so I moved on now. I mean, I already accepted that we can't be together or maybe not until he comes back here for good since long distance sucks. But either way, I really don't care anymore about our relationship. I just want to save our friendship.

The problem is, I miss him as a friend. We've been really close, we tell each other a lot of things, I know about his family and stuff. And now, we just don't talk to each other. It's okay with me if we don't end up together but I kinda want my friend back? He's the best guy friend I ever had since I'm not really close with guys lol. He told me before we can still be friends if I let him but maybe he just said that to make me feel better? I don't know if he meant it haha. I wasn't ready to be ffriends before but after some time of healing, I'm ready now.

The question is, would it be okay to contact him again? Tell him that I still consider him as a good friend and I'll always be here for him. ask him if he wants to be how we were before, how we talked, minus the expectations haha. Just be a good friend to each other, if that makes sense?

Or would that make me look so desperate and needy, still?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not sure I agree entirely with the previous reply. When it actually comes down to it, you've got nothing to lose. It's already lost. So give it a go. You might not get a favourable reply, or any reply at all. Be prepared for that. It doesn't matter if he does think you desperate, it sounds like he's miles away.
    I quote again from Arthur Ransome's childrens books about the Swallows and Amazons, " Grab a chance, and you won't be sorry for a might-have-been"

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Most Helpful Girl

  • ... Anyway so now I moved on now...
    Perhaps in some ways you Have here, dear, however, in other ways you Can't because you need not just my 'Best guy friend' back to find out if it is possible to still have him as a friend or maybe more in store... deep down... and find even a closure that you never found when you both ended things.
    I do not know how much time as lapsed with you and him as to the last time you both spoke. And if it has been a Month of Mondays, a lot could have changed where no matter what, not even the 'Distance,' could make a difference because things would never be the same again.
    He has already told you he wants just to be friends and maybe he was just saying this because now he feels uneasy as to how things ended up with the both of you. And if you would try and contact him again, it might not just open up a can of worms that could smell bad, but break your heart if you would sense that he doesn't even feel like a friend but now a Fair weather friend.
    It's your call, your choice and the only way you would know anything, find your closure that may be the final chapter to this open book, is to get in touch with him and see where it goes. But why fix what is not broken if you are doing good right now? It's like Pandora's Box in a way... think it over carefully.
    Good luck. xx

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • The CORE of the problem is that you're not so good with guys, this is your problem, he's not that great and you don't need him because if you were able to meet some new guys you'll forget about him instantly, but if you insist you can give him a week or two then texting him hi and what's up.. don't look so needy on the message, this should work properly

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe you should not text at all your heart sounds in the right place. Let him come to you. If he sees a friendship with you two , he'll come to you.
    Give him time/space to get over things, let him be.

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