Who should initiate contact first and when?

I so my ex gf and I had been dating for a year and a half. We both really love one another, but she wanted to break up so she could explore other people. Every was going good until the past month or so when she began to ask me if things would change if we took a break and came back to it. That made worry a bit, like why would you ask that and she would always tell me she's just asking. We would get into these little fights about the most pointless things, that I could easily move on from but she would always keep them swirling around in her head. Some of her excuses to brake it off would be because we were fighting too much! that's total bull, Cuz everyone has fights and moves on. Anyways her real reason was Cuz she wanted to be single and meet other people without feeling restricted, I simply said ok because I've learned the more you fight, the further you get. So I've respected her choice. Since then she's asked for all her stuff back and given me all mine as well (including our pictures togther) kinda a kick in the balks considering they're not mine, but just a photo we had togther. Like she wants no part of me. So she asked if I got all my stuff back because she left it on the porch. Not being a jackass but yes it's obvious that I would have got it because they are no longer there. Ik she's just trying to be nice a continue convo. Sending me texts ok just checking In with smiley faces. Essentially after a bit of not responding to her messages I sent her a message saying in the nicest way possible I can't keep in contact it's to hard for me right now. Which after talking to her friend she seemed pretty pissed off. I had to for my own sake. No doubt I still love and care for this girl but I don't know how she feels because she's the one who broke up with me, but she called me a few days ago which i didn't answer (30 day no contact). Do I message her first (Cuz I said please don't contact me) or wait for her, Cuz she broke up with me. I don't want to push anything?


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