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he is trying to control the situation - he may not know it, it may be a subconcious action that stems from insecurities, eg: 1. fear of abandonment = if I'm worried it'll happen maybe I can stay in control by making sure it happens, turning the scary unknown into the manageable known. 2. Narcicism (not too good at spelling!) = he wants you to beg him not to dump you cos it feeds his ego3. Masochism = he actually, on some level gets off on seeing you hurt4. Fear of commitment = maybe he really likes you but he doesn't know how to react to that powerful feeling and what it would mean going forward. I behaved like this when I was about 18 and, looking back on it, it was definitely for this reason. I love that girl so much - still do in fact - but I wasn't capable of handling those emotion then. Thing is, she and I split up ages ago. We are still good friends (our kids play with each other now) and we are both happy.5. Other = There could be other reasons6. But, as another poster notes, he could just want to break up but not want to deal with the outcome of that.What you should remember is that whatever decision you make will be hard now but it WILL in the long run have been the right decision. Bit general I know but, actually, I believe in that totally.
I have seen this kind of thing happen with my friends. It's not a healthy situation because you must be worried. I think you need to take some action here.From what I have seen, there are a couple of different reasons that someone suggests breaking up during a fight and then doesn't go through with the break-up: First, the person might want to break up, but not want to deal with the consequences... like you being upset or angry, your friends hating him, finding a new girlfriend, any other drama. It seems weird to me, and maybe to you too, but some people would rather stay in a relationship that makes them unhappy than move on. Second, the person might not really want to break up. It could be that he is threatening you with a break up either because he is angry and wants to hurt you or because he wants you to do something you don't want to do/change something about yourself. When someone threatens to break up because he wants something from you, it is emotional blackmail. It means that he is trying to control you. It is not a good situation. A relationship should be too important to both people to use in emotional blackmail. If you feel like this is what could be going on, then you or some more experienced person should explain to your boyfriend that it is not OK and he needs to stop it. There are other ways of dealing with conflict. The bottom line is, I don't know why your boyfriend is behaving this way, but this is not a healthy situation. Whatever is going on, it sounds like he is not happy in your relationship. You should not be dating someone who threatens to break up with you and who doesn't want to be with you. It must make you feel insecure and worried. There are plenty of guys out there who don't behave this way. You are young; don't waste your time with a guy who treats you this way. My advice is to break it off. Good luck!
Guys aren't as complicated as you think. It means he wants to break up with you.
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