Double standard when if come to breakups involving pregnant women. Your thoughts?

So this is something I've been trying to wrp my head around, but nothing. Why is when a woman who is who is pregnant break-ups with her boyfriend people see that as fine and that she's doing it for the best. But if a guy was to do it he would be seen as a deadbeat. And I'm not talking about the guys who get a girl pregnant and run because those are deadbeats. The men I'm talking about are men who even after breaking up actually want to be in the child's life they just are no longer IN LOVE with the mother. But even wanting to be in the child's life isn't enough, a lot of people seem to think the guy should stay with the woman regardless of how he feels. So basically men shouldn't be happily?

And I hope I don't come off the wrong way, I just wanted to point out one of the biggest double standards I've seen.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It is a pretty big double standard, I will agree with you there. I think the reason behind it stems from how absolutely terrifying it is to be pregnant. So to be pregnant, and have someone you (presumably) love abandon you at your most vulnerable... it's just gut wrenching. And heartbreaking. And scary. At that time in your life, you should have all the support possible. So guys who walk away from a woman who is trapped and frightened, and leave her to face pregnancy and labor all alone, are not looked on to kindly. And any woman who tells you that you don't feel scared and trapped during pregnancy is in denial.

    • This. She's is a single parent now. You have no idea how hard that is. I watched my sister do it.

    • @ObiouslyBored I understand that because my mom was a single parent. But tell me what would you prefer: A) The guy end the relationship as soon as he knows he no longer is happy. B) The guy just wait out the pregnancy and pretend everything is fine. C) The guy just say nothing and stay in the relationship even though he knows he's unhappy.

      And I don't want to come off as rude I'm just asking because these are the only three opinions a guy has in such a situation and none of them have positive result in my opinion.

Most Helpful Guy

  • A pregnant woman is seen as weak and in need of a man to take care of her. The father is seen as the one that put the woman in that condition in the first place, making it his responsibility to not only take care of the child but also the woman. It isn't right, but that is where the double standard comes from.

    These differences in men and women is actually how gender roles and stereotypes get started. If we want to break away from gender roles and double standards we have to stop seeing pregnant women as weaker or less capable than the father of the child. We aren't living in the stone ages. Modern women don't need a man to take care of them anymore.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I hate to say it, but I think this is fairly self-evident: leaving a pregnant woman is a shitty thing to do because she is physically vulnerable, putting her own health at risk to carry a (presumably your, if you're the guy wanting to break up with her) child to term. A guy is not doing that, so if the woman thinks it is in her, and her child's, best interest to leave the guy, whether or not he is the father, then that is her call. I am not saying that the father has no rights. But yes, there is a double standard, and sometimes a double standard is what is called for. In this case, it's because women can get pregnant and men can not.


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