Advice on closure email .... please

i feel like I need to send this email to my ex. its difficult though because we both still care and well, lets just say we have a lot of history together. I'm finding it fairly hard to let go and move on as he was my first everything to be honest, its horrible :(. my friends have been saying to me ever since we broke up that I should cut off all contact and well I haven't been able to do it for fear of losing him completely. but after recent events I don't feel like I have a choice. so I've composed this email, and I would really appreciate it if I got opinions on it. it was very hard for me to write :(.

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Look, I think we need to really sort this out. At the moment I really don’t think it’s going to work; us being friends. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be friends with you like how I’m mates with tom for example. But it can’t be like that if we both still care for each other. And well, sorry but you especially shouldn’t care for me; you’re with someone else and it’s not fair on her.

At the moment it’s so hard for me to have to act like I’m perfectly fine with talking to you and acting like we’re mates. If I’m honest it’s completely messing me up and I can’t do it. It’s just completely screwed up because at the same time I like you talking to me and well just hearing from you, it’s like you haven’t forgotten me. So even though I will most probably completely regret saying this later, but I think we should stop all contact for a bit. Like delete numbers, block on msn etc. No need to go as far as deleting on Facebook, I’m planning not to be on it much anymore so it’s not like you would be getting updates or w.e. I just don’t think there are any other options, like this is the right thing to do.

Yet, I would love, say in a few weeks/months time for us to start fresh as friends if that’s what you wanted. As weird as it sounds, I still don’t want to lose you completely; I’m generally like that though, so no need to panic. It breaks my heart to lose people I’m close to.

I’m sorry that I’m saying all this, but I can’t carry on like this. It’s annoying that I’m still somehow affected by all this. Like I get distracted so easily, but I keep on somehow getting distracted back if that makes sense, and it’s just f***ing me off now. And with what’s happened between us, I can’t be bothered anymore; you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to be with me in that way, and well yeah fine. But I tried so hard to fix things when they were sh*t, and well I’ve reached the point now where I don’t want to try anymore; it’s not worth the disappointment. And even if you did want to be with me, well...I don’t know.

But despite everything, you will always mean something to me. HA you will always be MY fool who never gave me enough massages and threw up after a joint.
Updates:
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continued...
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There will always be a part of me that will miss you but I need to move on so that I just think of you as a guy I could be good friends with. I need to forget you, and all those little things that made us; I don’t have a choice.

I’m sorry.

+1 y
I love you.


Take care of yourself.
Advice on closure email .... please
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