Any shot left with my ex now?

I dated my ex for 3 years, in early 2014 she broke up with me because she lost interest. She said she resented me because I neglected her and didn't do things with her and treat her the way she wanted to be treated. I always loved her and never stopped but after we broke up I realized it was my first real relationship, I was inexperienced and I probably didn't do things with her and for her the way I should have. After we broke up, we kept hanging out because (like an idiot) I thought it would give me a chance to win her back. For the next 6-7 months I hung out with her just us two, like we were dating again, and I made sure to show her things would be different this time. Eventually she started seeing some other guy and I was absolutely not cool with that, but I handled it poorly. I got clingy and controlling and ended up pushing her away even more. In the end I told her that I loved her and wanted to be with her, but I wasn't going to be some 2nd fiddle, pretending to be friends while she is going home with some other guy. I told her to call me if things didn't work out between them, but other than that I was not going to settle for friendship. About a month goes by with no contact and then she calls me one day. We make small talk for a little bit and that was it. A couple of weeks later she said she has been thinking and wants to meet for coffee sometime, but doesn't want me thinking this necessarily means we're getting back together. In a sense, she wanted to test the waters and see if anything was there. Well it never happened. She kept calling a few times a week and we made small talk. One day I asked about the coffee and she said she didn't think it was a good idea, that she didn't want to hurt my feelings by giving me hope if things didn't work out for us, and that she wasn't ready yet to see me. So why did she start calling in the first place?
It's like she missed me during no contact, but as soon as we started talking again she stopped wanting to see me. What the? Keep in mind I DO want her back, already done the no contact thing and it worked sorta... but what now? I know if I just straight up ignore her she's the type to resent me even more. So How should I go about winning her back? Making her see that I deserve a chance at least? Please don't say forget her and move on, I'm looking for help with my situation


Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe she's confused, and she missed you wanting to hear from you or even see you. But, maybe she got to thinking of the things from the past relationship you and her had. Maybe all the reasons why you broke up in the first place and realized she couldn't, no she shouldn't do it again


Most Helpful Guy

  • She probably friend zoned you, which is going into a black hole of no return. If you were extremely nice and idolized her, she probably took you as a friend. I usually act like a jerk with girls, but not in a serious way. I don't think you can get her back. It will be hard.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe she broke up with you for some guy and he left her so...

    • It's not this, she broke up with me and we kept hanging out for months. She broke up with me in February , and it wasn't until September-ish that she started seeing the new guy that we fought about. She has been seeing him since, as far as I know. But then why contact me again? Why bring up the idea of seeing me to test the waters, only to back out in the end?

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