Why has my ex-girlfriend come back into my life?

Ok.. So here's the deal. About 7 months ago, my Ex- girlfriend of 5 years started talking to me again. This was my High School sweet heart. We have been apart for 7 years now, she decided to leave me because I lost sight of the relationship and we just grew apart as a couple. Now keep in mind she was my first love and vice versa. After the breakup, she jumped right into a rebound relationship that lasted about 2 years. In the beginning of the breakup, I did a lot of the typical begging, chasing, but she was cold and not having it, so it was short lived because I pretty much just gave up and try and let her go. The new guy she was with turned out to be an alcoholic, so I believe she was not happy throughout the 2 years. During those 2 years she would contact me out of the blue, and sometimes I would respond and sometimes not. After that relationship finally ended, I guess she started seeing someone else On and off for a year or two.
So fast forward to now. So around March of last year, I finally answered back to a text and we started talking. She told me the history of the last guy she was seeing, and how he messed around on her so she got rid of him. she has not been in an exclusive relationship for 5 years now. She invited me to her place to hang out in July of last year, we ended up having ex sex which made me act neurotic because I immediately thought we were together again, and when she didn't want to be affectionate it bothered me. She told me that " we were supposed to just hang out, and hooking up just happened" after that, I told straight out that I cannot be "Just" friends with you, so she know how I feel about her. She has told me that she has only been with those other two guys sexually, she tells me she is not looking to date or be in a relationship right now. I have been talking to her ever since, And SHE does absolutely 100% of the initiating text and calling everyday. We hang out, I sleep over, she lets me touch her, but no sex. so where is this goin?


0|0
15

Most Helpful Girl

  • Friends with benefits = this dead end
    That's All Folks!
    My advice is to change your screwed up (by her) mind
    to rid it of emotions and take advantage of these gifts she OWES YOU
    and other guys would give ANYTHING to have this deal.

    1. you screw her brains out at every opportunity to make up for all that emotional battering given over the years; even today you are the last resort for companionship/sex, NO chance for marriage-forever, she's driven others into alcohol/other problems... TAKE the SEX
    2. your free time needs to shop for a REAL emotional replacement... and take your time... your sexual needs are met, so no need to scratch that itch & get caught AGAIN in the net of a cold bitch that tortures you, ever again

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 14

  • She's using you for sexually and emotional relief. You sound like a really great guy, I hope you find someone who deserves you. I would advise her to talk to a counselor and delete her number and cut off contact with her. If that's too extreme then start looking for someone else. But also avoid leading anyone on. Do this if and when you are ready. I would avoid committing yourself to someone who lives in the "maybe" rather than the certain. Heartbreak is no joke.

    3|0
    0|0
  • Why exes come back.

    1. EPIC SEX
    No one wants to give up good sex. If there was a good physical relationship, it's a good reason for them to return... especially if they know that you enjoyed the sex, too; that's their "in" (so to speak). The problem with great sex is that it can create a false-positive on the happiness of the relationship. When it comes to broken relationships, great sex isn't necessarily due to physical compatibility, but to different feelings and situations that mask the nonworking parts of the relationship: making up again after an argument, renewing the rush that accompanies seeing them again, and the like.

    2. The Do-Over
    When it comes to relationships, many people are experiential learners, and they learn more by making mistakes. After they've made a few, they end up altering their behavior and patterns, and then move on to their next relationship—presumably more prepared. If they made a bunch of mistakes with a past partner, yet felt that there was some kind of connection, they may return for a second go 'round. However, the original relationship dynamics can stay the same—even on a second try. Unless both people have changed as individuals, you may be destined to repeat the past. After all, when you pull milk out of the refrigerator and it's spoiled, you don't put it back and hope it's fresh tomorrow. Sometimes, you just have to throw it out.

    3. Single Again
    Those on the rebound tend to revisit their mistakes, and then—due to feelings or nostalgia, loneliness, or regret—they get back in-touch. The easiest way to attempt a reconnection is a fast message/text that tests the waters. With a simple message, they gauge what is possible by your reaction, and see if they should continue trying to reconnect.

    1|0
    1|0
    • So, do you go back with an ex?
      Before striking back up with an ex, consider the following:

      You can't "go back" to an old relationship... unless you want the same results. Going back to an ex means actually means that you are starting a new relationship with someone from your past. You have to release what you think you know and get to know them all over again.
      Don't jump into bed right away... especially if the sex was incredible. You'll risk repeating your old relationship by fooling yourself about the level of connection.
      Don't focus on the past, unless you are reminiscing about good times. Past disagreements (or what broke you up) can be discussed, but then you need to leave it alone.
      Above all, take your time. Let the new relationship reveal its own possibilities, and you'll see what's possible.

  • You're there to keep her company. She'll keep you around until she meets the next guy she falls for and if you're still into her even a little bit and she knows she'll repeat this cycle as long as she can.

    1|0
    0|0
  • She's using you to flatter her self-esteem. She wants to be adored. Avoid. Avoid at all costs.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Omg this bitch sounds like a headache. Just block her and find someone who is more stable and knows what she wants. Like me ;)

    1|0
    0|0
  • She's messing you around. She's lonely and using you. No man, you can do better

    3|0
    0|0
  • She's needy, she misses you, she wants to know how you're doing, she doesn't want you out of her life, being alone isn't an option to her or she's just really really horny all the time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Friends with benefits, if you feel that you can't have that type of relationship just tell her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It seems like she may feel like there is no one else to turn to right now.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Wow this is exactly what my ex bf is doing.. It Fuckn sucks.

    0|0
    0|0
  • She is using you as a rebound

    2|0
    0|0
  • She's using you! Stay away.. She's toxic

    2|0
    0|0
  • I still talk to my first love and I actually cheated on the bf that came after him. He up left me in Texas to go back to Cali. I've always had a soft spot for him. The last time we had sex was in 2008. Although I care about my first love we have managed to became BFF after reconnecting on IG last March. Just don't get your hopes up and be very careful about exposing all your feelings to someone who may not share those romantic feelings for you. Let her go.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I think she's lonely and she knows you're still into her. She probably just wants some attention until the next guy comes along

    4|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...