Ok.. So here's the deal. About 7 months ago, my Ex- girlfriend of 5 years started talking to me again. This was my High School sweet heart. We have been apart for 7 years now, she decided to leave me because I lost sight of the relationship and we just grew apart as a couple. Now keep in mind she was my first love and vice versa. After the breakup, she jumped right into a rebound relationship that lasted about 2 years. In the beginning of the breakup, I did a lot of the typical begging, chasing, but she was cold and not having it, so it was short lived because I pretty much just gave up and try and let her go. The new guy she was with turned out to be an alcoholic, so I believe she was not happy throughout the 2 years. During those 2 years she would contact me out of the blue, and sometimes I would respond and sometimes not. After that relationship finally ended, I guess she started seeing someone else On and off for a year or two.
So fast forward to now. So around March of last year, I finally answered back to a text and we started talking. She told me the history of the last guy she was seeing, and how he messed around on her so she got rid of him. she has not been in an exclusive relationship for 5 years now. She invited me to her place to hang out in July of last year, we ended up having ex sex which made me act neurotic because I immediately thought we were together again, and when she didn't want to be affectionate it bothered me. She told me that " we were supposed to just hang out, and hooking up just happened" after that, I told straight out that I cannot be "Just" friends with you, so she know how I feel about her. She has told me that she has only been with those other two guys sexually, she tells me she is not looking to date or be in a relationship right now. I have been talking to her ever since, And SHE does absolutely 100% of the initiating text and calling everyday. We hang out, I sleep over, she lets me touch her, but no sex. so where is this goin?
Most Helpful Girl
Why exes come back.
1. EPIC SEX
No one wants to give up good sex. If there was a good physical relationship, it's a good reason for them to return... especially if they know that you enjoyed the sex, too; that's their "in" (so to speak). The problem with great sex is that it can create a false-positive on the happiness of the relationship. When it comes to broken relationships, great sex isn't necessarily due to physical compatibility, but to different feelings and situations that mask the nonworking parts of the relationship: making up again after an argument, renewing the rush that accompanies seeing them again, and the like.
2. The Do-Over
When it comes to relationships, many people are experiential learners, and they learn more by making mistakes. After they've made a few, they end up altering their behavior and patterns, and then move on to their next relationship—presumably more prepared. If they made a bunch of mistakes with a past partner, yet felt that there was some kind of connection, they may return for a second go 'round. However, the original relationship dynamics can stay the same—even on a second try. Unless both people have changed as individuals, you may be destined to repeat the past. After all, when you pull milk out of the refrigerator and it's spoiled, you don't put it back and hope it's fresh tomorrow. Sometimes, you just have to throw it out.
3. Single Again
Those on the rebound tend to revisit their mistakes, and then—due to feelings or nostalgia, loneliness, or regret—they get back in-touch. The easiest way to attempt a reconnection is a fast message/text that tests the waters. With a simple message, they gauge what is possible by your reaction, and see if they should continue trying to reconnect.1