I broke up with a girl that loves me. I feel that I love her too. Did I do the right thing?

We've been together since 12/13/14 and tomorrow was going to be our 4 month anniversary. This is my first girlfriend and I'm 27. I truly love her and care about her but I feel that I am not ready for commitment and given the fact that this is my first girlfriend so late in life, it's not a good feeling. She's been in about 7 serious relationships before me while this is my first. She also has a kid with someone else, and while he's a good kid and all, I don't feel too comfortable with the situation. She is such a sweetheart though, and makes me feel loved and cared for. We have grown very close and she knows things about me that no one else knows. Despite this, I feel uneasy about commitment as I am not used to it at all, and I feel I'm not satisfied with my experiences in life yet, to be in a long term commitment. Regardless of the fact that I have been single all my life, I haven't really been with many women because I've been caught up with work and study with little time for those types of pursuits. Also, I'm told and do regard myself as an attractive Latino male so it makes it that much more difficult for me to see myself in a long term commitment since it is relatively easy for me to pick up women. I haven't really done it though because I've been so focused on my work and my projects. It's kind of complicated. I'm working on something that could make me financially free very soon, where I'll be in better position to meet all types of people and women. But while that may happen, in the back of my mind I find it difficult to forget the girl that loved me when I had nothing, and loved me for me, not my money. So, the question is, did I do the right thing?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You sound almost exactly like my ex, so I felt like I should comment because I'm going through what would happen if you took the other road. As it pains me to say it, you made the right choice. It doesn't feel like it I'm sure because love is an amazing feeling. I love him so much and he loves me, but I know he felt suffocated at times because he knows he can see us growing old together, only he hasn't gotten to travel yet, been with as many girls as he wanted. He's stayed with me because of the love, the comfort in having someone know you from front to back, be able to let your guard down, having someone love you and accept you for all your flaws.. but now he is slowy resenting me. It's become such a hot mess that we had to take time off because he knew he didn't want to cheat on me but he wanted to try out other women, I was heart broken by this but I let it happen. Months later we started rekindling the relationship because we are basically best friends, but that insecurity of being in a serious relationship was still there. Basically what I hope you get out of in this opinion in what has taken me more than a year and a half to figure out is that I needa let him go, and he's going to do what he needs to do. He's traveling to Thailand in September for a year, and I wish him all the best, if we decide to start new when he returns and we haven't moved on, I'd love that but only time would tell. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to force a relationship.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I want to say yes. I understand the who "she was with me when I had nothing", but it's only been 4 months. Also you seem like you have things you still need to figure out. It wouldn't be fair to her if you began a long time relationship with her and started resenting her because you didn't get to enjoy the freedom/ experience of dating others. You would probably eventually cheat on her. Work on yourself first.

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  • Of course you made the right decision because you wouldn't want to lead her on knowing how you truly feel.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't think you are being honest with yourself about your desires or motivations.

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  • If it was your gut feeling... then it is never wrong. Trust you gut. If it is meant to be you will end up with her again somewhere down the road.

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