What to do when a crazy ex is after you?

my ex is driving me insane. We broke up because i had found texts on his phone flirting with one of the girls in his class. So I broke it off then and there. This is the 2nd time this has happened. The first time I broke up with him for a year before accepting his apology and going back to him.
He claims that he loves me and that it wasn't anything serious but it is. When I recently caught him, really suggestive topics were being discussed.
He was such a great guy but I'm not a fan of these mind games he's playing.
He immediately regrets his actions after he does them.
When he regrets it he blows up my phone, sends messages and happens to be at the same places I am.
I talked to him and told him that I'm done and that if he wants to stay friends that's fine. I suggested that was so our mutual friends don't feel awkward and feeling obligated to take my side or his side in a fight.
Recently he was parked near my house, I'm assuming he was waiting for me. I was heading back from school and I saw his car. I got fed up and knocked on his window and asked to sit inside. I sat and told him to take the car into the parking lot by the park. We started talking and I explained that he needs to move on. He put on the same act that he did the first time and attempted be forward and flirt. But I wasn't having any of it. He took his seatbelt off and locked his car doors and started kissing my neck which he knows is my turn on. I tried to push him away but he kissed long enough to leave a hickey. i started yelling and kicking while he took me in his lap. But he had my hands tightly held with his. I managed to press the button, flung open the door and ran back home. Since then he's been texting that "I haven't seen nothing yet" and that "he's watching me everywhere". I'm beyond worried now. I can't have my family know about him and I have a feeling he'll do some wild shit. It's interfering with my daily living. I've blocked him on all platforms but im still scared...

Updates:
thanks for the input everyone, I appreciate it. I've decided to talk to his mom and brother who I know pretty well and let them know what's going on. I know he normally listens to his family so hopefully they can help me resolve this. For the time being I'm just going to steer clear of him as best as I can.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Is that pseudo-rape attempt his way of showing he's a man of action or what exactly?
    At any rate, you said you were done, so if he will continue to harrass you, turning to the police wouldn't be out of the question.

    He's watching you everywhere? I don't think so, he can't have that much free time.

    And why can't your family know about this clown?

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    • I know that and I've considered it but I don't want this to turn into a big thing.
      I can't let my family in on this because we're of 2 different religions. Even though we're not dating anymore, I would get shit from my parents for dating him in the first place.

      And I guess I get intimidated by him too easily. He's happened to be at quite a few places I've been at.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • You need to threaten him with a restraining order.

    Tell him that it's over, that he needs to move on like you have and if he doesn't and continues to harass you, you'll get the law involved.

    I promise you he'll leave.

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  • No offense, but this sounds like a story. I think you've made the whole thing up. If you haven't, simply share the texts with the police, and perhaps see if you can get a restraining order.

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    • I thought the same thing, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

    • yeah I know I've heard that before. Sounds like something out of a movie. I'm going to talk to his mom and brother and see if they can talk to him about backing down. If not and if it gets worse, the last resort will be going to the police. Thanks.

  • Let me kill him!

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  • Enforce your boundaries, which you clearly have not.. Or do you really enjoy the attention if you have done nothing so far... just saying

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    • I mean I've tried to enforce them he doesn't take it seriously because I'm not the type to tell people what's going on. I've decided to tell his mom and brother. Hopefully they can talk some sense into him and tell him to back off.

    • Even getting into the car with him was a no... He thrives of your attention

    • Yeah I now realize that wasn't the smartest idea. Won't do that again..

What Girls Said 1

  • Can I just butt in and ask, what if something similar happened but you (as in me) like the fanboy and want to talk to them but When you try the fanboy becomes aloof, then what are my next steps? Help, I need your opinions, thanks!

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    • Elaborate please?

    • I think I was half asleep when I wrote this. For a while this guy would be everywhere I was, but I had a bf. Then we split up. And I was crushing I this guy anyways but since he also seems into other girls and gets sort of standoffish if I show interest I want to know if I should friend zone him, or flirt or something else?

    • You know what though, don't bother answering. I'm just going to let it go. I think it's healthier that way. 😊

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