Blacking out and beating the sh*t out of my ex for finding out about the shady, slutty things he has done?

While I aim to be a peaceful, serene woman who spreads good vibes and attacks ideas, not people: I have a horrible effing temper and you do not want to be on the recieivng end of it. Thanks to some verbal/mental abuse followed by boxing training plus a innate sense of competition since I was a child... I can become she-Hulk. Not my proudest trait. Definitely a trait I need to fix before I become a mother or get married.

Anyhow, my newly ex (just broke up last week) and I are meeting up to discuss the full extent of his shady sh*t.
I found some things on Facebook that I'd like to address and I deserve to know the truth. I have EARNED that totality from him. I honestly feel like I just might black out and punch him in the face really hard. I know he's strong so he will probably try to pin me down and I will just knee him in the balls and kick wherever I can while I scratch him all over. I have been loyal to this man and given him my heart for two years and if I find out what I think I'm going to find out, I just may snap and give him an ass whooping. This is a horrible idea. What can I do to control my anger? Please talk me down. I don't want to do this but I feel rage creeping up into me already.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Bring somebody else along. Like a friend or something. That way they can hold you back if you do snap. Or you could do it in a public place. So all the people around that could see you may keep you from making a scene. You could also do something very happy before this to get you in a mind state of "it doesn't matter what happens because today was already a good day". Or drink a glass of chocolate milk. That always makes me happier. And for the record, I think it's awesome that you could beat up the average guy. Many girls can't and i think it's cool that you can. More inventive for a guy to make you happy

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    • Thank you so much for coming here and taking your time to give that non-judgmental, constructive answer!

    • Not a problem, glad I could help (:

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What Guys Said 6

  • Well if you cheated on him and then he beat the shit out of you he'd go to jail maybe the same will happen to you 🙊

    cheating doesn't give you an excuse to resort to physical violence.

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  • From you post you want nothing more than do just what you have stated being you seem fixated on hurting him , so talking you out of it if you have that mind set is a mute point. All I can say is jail is real and domestic violence goes both ways. Not much of a pep talk I know , maybe fear and worry will suffice

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  • Of all the reasons to fight, anger is NOT one of them. If you feel that you cannot control yourself then DON'T GO! You say you deserve to talk about the old crap, but what's it going to accomplish? Feeding this anger you have? Hardly worth it. Think about the possible worse case outcomes, you hospitalize or kill him. Are you prepared for prison over closure? Again hardly worth it. Let it go, let him go, and move on with your life.

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    • Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!

    • Show All
    • He couldn't have because he hit me too. He hit me, shoved me, pushed me, punched a whole in the wall of his room, and he lied on the phone with the police. Plus deep down, I'm sure that's not a bridge he truly wants to burn.

    • Next, I embrace the peaceful, positive, blissful existence without his presence taking away from it : )
      I am absolutely convinced that there is nothing to gain, desire, or miss from his presence. Everything he did right can be found in another man who's a better human being. I probably should have listened to you, but seeing his true colors yesterday and just how awful he really is sped up my healing process. Yesterday when we spoke, I wasn't over him. By the end of the night, there were absolutely zero feelings left. My heart deserves better.

  • Just think about the repercussions. You can easily go to jail, do you wanna screw your life for a dickhead? It's not worth it.

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  • Well, if you want to be arrested for assault, be my guest

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  • Actually, you need to be in jail or in a psychiatric facility. Clearly, you are dangerous and out of control. Then, we can address your issues.

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What Girls Said 4

  • If you feel like your going to get violent then maybe you shouldn't meet him at all. Talk to him on the phone or video chat instead.
    If you get violent chances are you're the one who is going to get in trouble and regret it. You can't justify trying to beat him up.
    Or you can get those blow up huge gloves and ask him to let you punch him with those, or use those super soft toy bat things.

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  • Violence is never the answer. Do some deep breathing and know you dodged a bullet. Do some exercise to work off the adrenaline, too.

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    • You are so right, girl. Thank you : )

  • Maybe it's not the right time for you to meet up with him then. Perhaps it would be better to give it a bit more time and calm yourself down a little. Aside from the fact that you really shouldn't get violent since that would solve nothing, you could end up in jail. Or one or both of you could get seriously hurt. That really isn't worth it. I understand you want to hear the truth from him, I really do. But I suggest you postpone the meeting until your wounds have healed a little and you don't go into this meeting thinking you will beat the living shit out of him. Also, maybe take some valium or something before you actually meet him ;-)

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  • Hand cuff your hands behind your back and have the conversation while sitting down. Have someone with you as well. I lost control the other night... Not my proudest moment and didn't even know I could snap that way on my boyfriend, let alone another person.

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    • ROFLMFAO!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA omg that just made me burst out loud laughing.

    • I can totally relate to you girl! We're only human and sometimes we fail to handle disappointment with grace : /

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